Cannonball Run 2005: High Stakes
by BKelly95
Summary: Mad Dog has brought back the Cannonball. However, the consequences for being arrested have become drasticly severe. Can the Cannonballers beat the odds as well as each other?
1. Chapter 1

Cannonball Run 2005: High Stakes 

AN:Welcome to the next running of the Cannonball Run remake series. For this tale, we return to the states and raise the danger level. Some new faces will show up and some new actions will occur.  
I thought I should include a cast list so you would have a better idea of what my reinvisioned characters looked like. I asked Anthony, a.k.a. Turbo Man and he agreed. So, here's my selected cast:

J.J. McClure-Jerry O'Connell  
Victor Prinsi/Captain Chaos-Horatio Sanz  
Pamela Glover-Tara Reid  
Mad Dog-Ice T  
Batman-Beck  
Jamie Blake-Colin Quinn  
Morris Fenderbaum-Arsenio Hall  
Jill Boyd-Tinsley Grimes  
Marcie Thatcher-Jordana Spiro  
Jessica Munroe-Raelee Hill  
Jackie Lewis-Dustin Diamond  
Michael North-Darius McCrary  
Brad Compton-Will Forte  
Seymour Drake Jr, a.k.a. "The Drake"-Cole Hauser  
Ron-Brian Baker  
Venom-Matt Schulze  
Terry Fletcher-Andrew Heckler  
Melvin Sharp-Anthony Clark  
Monkey-Chad Lindberg  
Danny Mitchell-Martin Henderson  
Dr. Nicolas Van Helsing-Randy Quaid  
Arthur J. Foyt-John Lithgow  
Frankie Thunder-Johnny Strong

Well, here we go.

----------

Toronto, Ontario, Canada...

"I think this will be perfect for the party." said Wayne Bruce, or Batman as his friends called him.

"I think you'll also find the parking lot to be fully capable of holding all of the cars in your race." said the manager of the hotel he was in.

"Yeah, very nice." said Batman. "So, tell me. Will the Toronto airport allow a few fly-bys of vintage biplanes for the party?"

"What?" asked the manager.

"Just kidding." said Batman with a laugh.

The manager laughed too.

"Anyways, this might be the best place to stage the start of the race." said Batman. "I'll call you when we make the final decision."

"Thank you very much." said the manager. "Have a good day."

"Talk to you later." said Batman. As he walked out to the parking lot, he took out his cel phone and dialled.

"Yo, it's Mad Dog." said the voice on the other end.

"Mad Dog, it's me, Batman."

"Wassup, bud?" asked Mad Dog.

"The hotel in Toronto is a lock." said Batman. "As soon as we can get the teams to Canada, we can start."

"Good to hear." said Mad Dog. "You're coming back?"

"I'll be there soon." said Batman. He walked around to where he parked his car, a Cadillac XLR, and froze when he saw two police officers. "Uh oh." he said. "We got cops."

"Uh oh is right." said Mad Dog. "We can't let the local constabulary get in our way."

"I'll see what I can do." said Batman. He walked up to the officers and said "What seems to be the problem, officers?"

"We've gotten reports of foreign nationals preparing to perform some kind of illegal activity here." said one of the officers. "We're checking everyone out."

"I'm just from New York." said Batman. "Does that count?"

"It's another country, eh?" said the other.

"What is your business in Toronto?" asked the first.

"Just a business trip." said Batman. "That's all."

"What kind of business?" asked the other.

"Automotive." said Batman. "I work for a car customizer in Brooklyn who was hired by a Toronto man to do up his ride."

"What customizer?" asked the first.

"Mad Dog Customs." said Batman. "I have a business card if you want to contact them."

He handed the officers the card. "Thank you." said the other. "You can go now, but don't leave town."

"Okay." said Batman.

The officers walked away. Batman put the phone back to his ear.

"Did you hear that?" asked Batman as he got into his car.

"Yeah." said Mad Dog. "I think we may have been made."

"We might have to reconsider the hotel if..." said Batman before looking at the officers and seeing them talking to a pair of men in familiar red coats and wide-brimmed hats. "Shit!"

"What?" asked Mad Dog.

"Mounties!" said Batman. "Basta, I'm outta here!"

Batman started his XLR and backed out of the space in a hurry. This attracted the attention of the Mounties. Batman flashed a quick smile and took off.

The Mounties and Toronto police ran to their cars and gave chase. "This is unit 12." reported one of the Toronto cops. "We are in pursuit of a late model Cadillac roadster with New York plates. Believed to be involved with illegal activities. Over."

Batman pulled into the backlot of a convenience store and parked. He cut the engine, jumped out, and jumped the fence nearby. On the other side was a Mercedes Benz G500 which he climbed into. He started the truck, put it in gear, and drove to the exit of that backlot. Two of the city's police cruisers raced by looking for his car. They didn't notice him. He reached up and scratched the side of his nose with his middle finger, then drove off.

"Even in Canada, police are the same." he quipped.

----------

The following day, he returned to Brooklyn. He pulled into the parking lot for Coney Island, got out, and found Mad Dog waiting for him at a bench.

"Bad news." said Batman as he walked over. "Canada is out."

"Damn!" said Mad Dog. "How'd they find out about this?"

"I dunno." said Batman. "There must be a leak somewhere."

"Great, we just ruined a perfectly good trip to Canada." said Mad Dog.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Batman. "Canada was the only country we could use that wasn't too expensive to go to."

"I don't know." said Mad Dog. "I need time to think."

"Maybe we should let the heat die down and run it next year." said Batman.

"No, I missed the race last year because I was too sick." said Mad Dog. "I'm not going to let some cops ruin it this year."

"Well, it could be the best option." said Batman. "If it's that risky in Canada, we might as well run across America again."

"What?" asked Mad Dog.

"Well, since the Canadian police are just as fired up as the American police..." said Batman.

"That's actually not a bad idea." said Mad Dog. "We should run it across America again. You know, stick with tradition."

"Are you nuts?" asked Batman. "The very reason the Drake ran the race in Australia last year was because the police in the States are more dilligent due to the race two years ago."

"Yeah?" asked Mad Dog. "Screw them."

"Okay, maybe I can't talk you out of this." said Batman. "But do you have to drag me along?"

"Not really." said Mad Dog. "I need someone to coordinate things behind the scenes."

"And you want me to do it?" asked Batman.

"Sure." saidMad Dog.

"You trust me that much?" asked Batman.

"Of course." said Mad Dog.

"Wow, I'm honored." said Batman. "I think we should tell J.J."

"Know what?" asked Mad Dog. "We'll go up and see him tomorrow. I need some time to organize these new plans."

----------

In Washington, D.C, Arthur J. Foyt slammed down the receiver for his telephone. "Toronto police called off the search!" he yelled.

"They're probably not going to run the race there now." said the other man in the room.

"Have you heard anything about the race being canceled?" asked Foyt.

"No, which is not very surprising." said the man. "No one is more determined to race than the Cannonballers."

"Then, they must have a backup plan for the starting line." said Foyt. "Do you know what that could be?"

"If there are backup locations, no one told me yet." said the man.

"Well, keep an ear out." said Foyt. "If we have to, we might have to let you actually take part in the race."

"Seriously?" asked the man.

"Seriously." said Foyt. "Two years ago, I had the Cannonballers right in my hands and they managed to slip right past me! Not this time. This time, the Cannonballers will be stopped with your help."

"If I am to help you stop the Cannonball," said the man "I'll need a car. Something high performance, exotic, preferably red."

"An exotic sports car?" asked Foyt. "Do you have any idea how much those cost?"

"You want to stop the Cannonball by letting me to go undercover in it." said the man. "I need a sports car. I'm not driving some riced out Honda. I got a reputation to protect."

"Alright, I'll start looking." said Foyt. "Anything in particular?"

"I've always wanted to test drive an Aston Martin." said the man.

"Okay, it's a deal." said Foyt. "Your next assignment is to keep your ears open. If you hear anything about the Cannonball, make a note of it and tell me when you have a chance. Until then, we never had this conversation."

"Okay." said the man. "Nice talking with you, Mr. Foyt."

"Until we meet again, Mr. Blake." said Foyt.

----------

The day after they met at Coney Island, Mad Dog and Batman drove up to Stone Ridge, New York to meet with J.J. McClure. J.J. had a late model Ford Crown Victoria up on the lift when he saw Mad Dog and Batman approach.

"Hey, Mad Dog!" said J.J. "What's up?"

"Canada is out." said Mad Dog. "We need to change the plans."

"Okay, how so?" asked J.J.

"Hey, Mad Dog!" said J.J's assistant, Victor Prinsi as he came out of the garage.

"Hey, wassup, Victor?" asked Mad Dog. "How's the car coming?"

"Tuning it is going well." said Victor. "I think that performance-wise, it already meets the official requirements."

"Good." said Mad Dog. "We have a design all set up."

"I hit ninety on the Thruway just to get this." said Batman as he took out his cel phone and activated the camera. He showed off a picture of a New York state trooper's car. He then showed off a picture of the car's door and the intricate decal.

"You could have just gone to the town hall." said Victor. "There's usually one or two parked down there."

"Wish you'd told me that two hundred dollars ago!" said Batman.

"This paint job is doable." said J.J. "However, we're going to have to paint these stripes and symbols. There's not a decal maker on the planet that's going to make official vinyls without identification."

"Sounds like a lot of work, but we don't have a choice." said Mad Dog.

"I know." said J.J. "On other details, where's the starting line?"

"Your guess is as good as ours." said Mad Dog. "Do you know of a place that's secluded, but can host a decent party?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." said J.J. "Come on."

J.J. and Mad Dog walked to J.J's Camaro and climbed in.

"I've got a CD in the player." said J.J. as he started the car. "It was half-finished when I parked. We'll be at the location and back before it runs out."

J.J. pulled out onto the road and drove.

"By the way, did you call the others to tell them about the venue change?" asked J.J.

"Sure did." said Mad Dog. "I called Blake and Fenderbaum."

----------

_"I called the Drake."_

In a Chicago parking garage, Seymour Drake Jr. raced through the structure in a white BMW M3 four-door. His bodyguard Ron held on for dear life.

After the Drake came around a turn at high speed, he started to lose control. When he ended up pointing in the direction he had come, he threw the car into reverse and continued. Shortly afterward, he performed a bootlegger and drove towards the next ramp. He drove up it and stopped in the first available parking space.

"So, Ron." asked the Drake. "What do you think?"

"Definitely puts the El to shame." said Ron. "I see those defensive driving courses are paying off."

"Alright." said the Drake as he went for the door handle. Ron got out as well.

"I still think it needs something." said the Drake. "I'm thinking some performance adds from Dinan, Hartge, Alpina perhaps. You know, if we're going to supe it up, we might as well decorate it too. How does this sound? Metallic red, gold pinstripes, Hartge rims."

"If the pinstripes are gold, why not the rims?" asked Ron.

"Nice thinking." said the Drake. "How about a body kit as well?"

"Okay." said Ron. "Now, about security."

"Ron, I was kidnapped last year." said the Drake. "I'm willing to accept my share of the blame..."

"Your share?" asked Ron. "You got kidnapped because you were distracted talking to a girl. I wasn't exactly in a postition to intervene."

"Anyways, I think we could use a little help." said the Drake.

"Mister Drake..." said Ron.

"No, my decision is final." said the Drake. "I've hired another bodyguard. I don't want you to think of him as your replacement. Think of him more as a partner."

"Where did you get him?" asked Ron.

"One of my golf buddies set me up." said the Drake. "Come on, we've got some plans to make."

----------

_"I called Mel and Terry."_

In Kentucky, a used car dealer led former stock car driver Melvin Sharp and his former chief mechanic Terry Fletcher to a '77 AMC Gremlin. "So, what would it take to get you into this Gremlin?" asked the dealer.

"Chloroform." said Mel.

"Actually, we've already got a car chosen." said Terry.

"That's right." said Mel. "We checked out the lot last week and found what we needed."

"That's it right over there." said Terry as he pointed across the lot at a faded gray '69 Dodge Coronet R/T.

"I'm afraid that car's been reserved." said the dealer. "Someone tried to buy it twicein the last week, and both timeswe got a notice from the computer that it was reserved."

"That would be us." said Mel.

"Yeah, the mechanic set up the reservation." said Terry.

The dealer looked to the repair bay. He knew just which mechanic was responsible. Three guys were standing around a Ford Taurus checking the brakes and oil. A fourth was giving the engine an examinationby hanging from an engine hoist by his arms and legs.

"Excuse me." said the dealer.

"Come on, let's check out the car." said Terry.

The dealer marched into the repair bay. "Monkey!" he yelled.

"Hey, what's going on, dad?" asked Monkey, the mechanic hanging from the engine hoist.

"Did you reserve that Coronet?" asked the dealer.

"Yeah." said Monkey as he climbed off the engine hoist. "Those guys..."

"Why did you do that?" asked the dealer. "I almost got rid of the Gremlin!"

"These guys were looking for something powerful and the Coronet fit the bill." said Monkey. "And I told you. If you want to get rid of that Gremlin, there's a junkyard across town that will give you more than it's worth!"

"I'm telling you, Monkey!" said the dealer. "If you supercede me like that again, you're finished! Got it?"

"I can only hope." muttered Monkey.

Mel and Terry heard the tirade from the Coronet. "What do you suppose that was about?" asked Mel.

"I try not to get involved with other people's messes." said Terry as he reached into the driver's side footwell and pulled the hood release. "Check the engine." he said.

Mel opened the hood and let out a howl. "Big Hemi!" he said.

Terry took a look. "Oh yeah." he said. "That's gotta be at least a 440."

"Let's put some money on it." said Mel as he closed the hood.

They went into the office with the dealer.

"So, what are you boys going to do with this car?" asked the dealer as Monkey walked in.

"Basicly, we're going to take a little trip." said Mel. "Just go out and ride until they say no."

"We're Cannonballers." said Terry as Monkey picked up the phone and dialled.

"Stop it, boy!" yelled the dealer. "I told you not to play with the phone!" He threw a paper pad at him to make his point.

"Wasn't that a little harsh?" asked Mel.

"Damn kid costs me three hundred a month in wrong numbers." said the dealer. Suddenly, Monkey reached into the candy jar, pulled out a handful of mints, and started throwing them at his father. "Hey, stop it, you little puke! That's it, I've had it with you!" he said. He turned to Mel and Terry and added "'Scuse me, boys. I gotta teach this brat some manners."

He walked over to Monkey and said "Listen, son!" He then slapped him with his hat. Monkey responded with a punch to the jaw that knocked his father across the room.

"I've had it!" yelled Monkey. "I try and I try and I can never impress you! I'm sick of your treatment!"

"Oh, now you've stepped in it." said his father. He rushed Monkey and tried to punch him, but Monkey grabbed him and threw him into the desk chest-first.

"This is better than 'American Chopper'." said Terry as Mel stared in shock.

Monkey's father tried to attack him again, only to be thrown into the desk again right in front of Mel and Terry. He dragged himself back to his feet and looked at the two.

"Boys, I got one condition on your needs." he gasped. "I'm gonna give you the Coronet, but only if you take this hairy son of a bitch with you!"

Monkey grabbed him by the hair and pulled him away until his toupee came off.

----------

_"I called Jackie and Michael. Brad's working with them, you know."_

At a Seattle Best Buy, Michael North stood in line with a cartload of computer equipment. A woman walked into the line behind him with a couple of CDs. Her eyes went wide when she saw how much stuff Michael had.

"You might want to take another checkout." he told her. "This could take a while."

"Let's see." said the checkout girl. "You're buying a top of the line motherboard, the fastest processor on the market, the biggest hard drive we sell, and some high capacity RAM chips. When you build your own computer, you don't mess around."

"I know." said Michael. "So, take a credit card?"

"Of course." said the girl as she took his card. "Thank you, Mr. Compton."

Outside, Michael's partner Jackie Lewis was sitting in the driver's seat of a silver Acura TSX. Their backer, Brad Compton, sat in the front passenger seat. Jackie had a laptop set up on the dashboard and was watching a Homestar Runner webtoon.

"What are you, uh, doing?" asked Strong Bad.

"I'm practicing closing my eyes." said Homestar.

Jackie laughed. Brad just stared.

"What the hell is this?" asked Brad.

"Pure genius." said Jackie.

"You're into this?" asked Brad.

"Don't knock it." said Jackie. "Give it a chance. You'll be e-mailing Strong Bad by the end of the week."

Michael walked up and knocked on the window. Jackie rolled it down.

"Wanna pop the trunk?" he asked.

Jackie popped the trunk and got out to help him.

"Whoa!" he said. "We should be able to make a decent system out of this."

"I've already drawn up the plans." said Michael. "So, whatcha doing in there?"

"Just watching a video on the net." said Jackie.

"Homestar?" asked Michael.

"Who else?" asked Jackie.

----------

_"I sent Jill and Marcie an e-mail."_

In Santa Monica, California, Jill Boyd drove her Honda Civic street racer into Marcie Thatcher's driveway, avoiding the Toyota MR2 that she drove to victory in the 2003 Cannonball. After parking, she, Marcie, and Australian street racer Jessica Munroe climbed out.

"Here we are." said Marcie. "Casa del Thatcher."

"Nice place." said Jessie. "So, this is where I'm staying?"

"Absolutely." said Jill. "Oh, one other thing."

"Remember last year when you lent us your Skyline?" asked Marcie. "You said you wanted a car that wasn't available in Australia when you came here to visit?"

"Yeah?" said Jessie.

"Check this out." said Jill as she pushed the button on a garage door opener. The garage door opened to reveal a white sport coupe in the garage. "Voila, a brand new car all for you. Cute, huh?"

"Yeah, it's nice." said Jessie as she looked it over. "What kind of car is this?"

"It's a Scion tC." said Jill. "It's a youth oriented model made by Toyota. We did our research. It's only available in America."

"Why is it stock?" asked Jessie.

"Well, we thought since it was your American ride, you should be the one to customize it." said Marcie.

"Alright." said Jessie. "I'm just going to have to come up with something. Give me a moment."

"In the meantime, I'm going to check my e-mail." said Marcie.

As Marcie went to the computer, Jill found Jessie looking at the Scion. "I can tell you're anxious to get started." she said.

"Oh yeah." said Jessie. "This is a car I've never seen before. Looks like a challenge if I do say so."

"Oh my God!" said Marcie. "Jill, come here!"

Jill and Jessie ran over to Marcie and the computer. "What's up?" asked Jill.

"I got an e-mail from Mad Dog." said Marcie. "He says that the Cannonball's starting line has been moved to the U.S."

"The Cannonball?" asked Jessie. "Isn't that the race you needed the Skyline for last year?"

"That's the one." said Jill. "Looks like they're running it across America this year."

"Have a car picked out?" asked Jessie.

"No." said Marcie. "Why?"

"I think I have an idea for the car." said Jessie as she looked at the Scion.

----------

"Did you call that guy in Miami?" asked J.J.

"Oh, thanks for reminding me." said Mad Dog. He took out his cel phone and dialled.

In a doctor's office in Miami, Danny Mitchell sat on the examining table when his cel phone rang to the tune of the Killers' "Mr. Brightside". He picked it up and said "Mitchell."

"Yo, Danny."

"Hey, Mad Dog." said Danny. "What's up?"

"I'm just calling to tell you that the starting line has been moved to the U.S." said Mad Dog. "I'll get back to you on the exact spot. The race starts in a month. Can you make it?"

"I don't know yet." said Danny.

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Mad Dog.

"I'm at the doctor's." said Danny. "I've got some kind of kidney infection."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." said Mad Dog. "How bad?"

"I need a transplant." said Danny. "My cousin's flying in from Wellington to donate one. I'm scheduled around the time of the race. If you can give me an exact day, I'll try to arrange accordingly."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." said Mad Dog. "By the way, can I recommend a specialist to keep tabs on your condition?"

"Sounds good." said Danny. "Hold on, the doctor's coming back. Can you call me back?"

"Sure, no prob." said Mad Dog. "See ya."

"Bye." said Danny as he hung up his phone.

The doctor walked in and said "Okay, Danny. We're all set for next month. We just need you to set a date. In the meantime, you need to take some medication."

"Medication?" asked Danny as the doctor handed him a bottle of pills.

"Yes." said the doctor. "It's experimental. You will need to take this three times a day with water until the transplant."

"Any side effects?" asked Danny.

"Stress incontinence." said the doctor. "That means you'll have trouble holding your urine."

"Wait, I have to take water with this and I won't be able to hold my piss?" asked Danny.

"I'm afraid so." said the doctor. "If you need a refill, just call your local pharmacy a couple days in advance. You should be fine."

"Okay." said Danny as he got up to leave. "Oh, one more thing. Do you think I'll be fine with a long car ride, say across the country?"

"Of course." said the doctor. "You should be fine."

"Alright, thanks." said Danny.

----------

Shortly after Danny finished the phone conversation, J.J. pulled up to the entrance of a rather majestic-looking Victorian hotel high in the mountains.

"Whoa, nice place!" said Mad Dog.

"Welcome to the Mohonk Mountain House." said J.J. "Let me show you around."

After showing Mad Dog around the hotel, J.J. led Mad Dog outside next to a lake. "Yeah, this is the place." said Mad Dog. "I think this will make a perfect starting line."

"I thought so." said J.J.

"How do you know of this place?" asked Mad Dog.

"I have my sources." said J.J.

"J.J? What are you doing here?" J.J. and Mad Dog looked to see J.J's girlfriend, Pamela. It turned out she worked there.

"Hi, Pamela." said J.J. "Mad Dog was looking for a starting line for the Cannonball and I thought of here."

"Here?" asked Pamela. "I thought we were running it in Canada this year?"

"We were, but there were slight problems with the local authorities." said Mad Dog.

"Wow, this is kind of a surprise." said Pamela. "I'll see if I can help. J.J, what about the trick?"

"I think we're going to do it just as planned." said J.J. "However, there will be a slight change in jurisdiction."

"I gotcha." said Pamela. "So, Mad Dog. Let me get you in touch with the guy in charge around here."

J.J. looked around. "One month." he said. "Guess I'd better get cracking."

AN:So, here we go.  
In case you're wondering, the Mohonk Mountain House is a real place. However, I am not affiliated with it in any way other than having paid a couple of visits. I share Mad Dog's opinion, though. I think it's a nice place.  
Stay tuned. There's more to come.


	2. Tuning Up, the Musical

Cannonball Run 2005: High Stakes 

Chapter Two: Tuning Up, the Musical

AN:And now, the cars to be featured in the race will take shape.  
And here we go.

----------

Mad Dog was helping J.J. and Victor fix up the Crown Vic. The performance modifications were fully installed. The visual add-ons were next.

"J.J, do you really think we can get this car ready within a month?" asked Victor.

"I think so, but it's gonna be hard work the whole time." said J.J. as he masked off the taillights so he could paint the car.

"As far as I can tell, the seals on the doors are going to be the hard part." said Victor.

"Yeah, I'm going to give that a try." said J.J. "But I gotta tell you, they're going to take a week each."

"You know what might make the job go faster?" asked Mad Dog as he put a CD into the boom box. "Music." He hit the play button and Nelly's "Ride Wit Me" started playing. J.J. just chuckled and went back to work.

_If you wanna go and take a ride wit me.  
Three wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's.  
Oh, why do I live this way?  
(Hey, must be the money!)_

----------

In Washington, D.C, Blake and his partner Morris Fenderbaum sat on a park bench just outside the White House.

"Is he coming?" asked Fenderbaum.

"I hope so." said Blake. "I didn't come out here to sit in front of the president's house all day."

Just then, a black Chevy Trailblazer pulled up in front of them. Mr. Foyt climbed out of the front passenger seat. "Oh good, you made it." he said. "Get in on the passenger side. I want to address you both."

Shortly, they were back on the road. Mr. Foyt was now sitting behind his driver, Blake sat next to him, and Fenderbaum had shotgun.

"So, Mr. Blake." said Foyt. "You've heard something?"

"Yes." said Blake. "The Cannonball starting line has been moved to the Mohonk Mountain House outside of New Paltz, New York."

"Where is that exactly?" asked Foyt.

"It's up in the Catskills." said Fenderbaum. "It's not exactly the kind of place you can stumble across by accident."

"Just as well." said Foyt. "After the incident in Canada, I think it would berather suspicious if the police showed up at a second starting line."

"So, what do you suggest?" asked Blake.

"As we discussed, we're going to have to let the race start." said Foyt. "After that, with your help, we will catch the Cannonballers in the act and make an example of them."

"Good idea." said Fenderbaum. "How do we help?"

"First, you'll need this." said Foyt as he took out a PDA and handed it to him. "This thing has a notepad installed and you can write down the Cannonballers' license plate numbers...or any useful information for that matter, and e-mail it to me. All you need is a computer with a docking station and internet access. My e-mail address is in there as well."

"Does it have Minesweeper?" asked Blake.

"No." said Foyt.

"Damn." said Blake.

"Okay, we're here." said Foyt.

The Trailblazer pulled up in front of the Lincoln Memorial and the three men got out.

"What are we doing here?" asked Fenderbaum.

"I just wanted to give you your car." said Foyt. He held out his hand to a curbside parking space across the street. Parked there was a bright red Aston Martin DB9. "The keys are inside."

Blake's jaw dropped. He walked across the street and narrowly avoided being hit by a car. He opened the door and climbed in.

"So, tell me, Mr. Fenderbaum." said Foyt. "Why?"

"Why what?" asked Fenderbaum.

"Why do you want to bring down the Cannonball?" asked Foyt.

"Well, WINNING the race didn't exactly go according to plan." said Fenderbaum. "And we figured 'what a better way to get our revenge?'"

"Sounds a little devious." said Foyt. "I like it. Shall we join him?"

"Okay." said Fenderbaum. They walked across the street and Fenderbaum got into the car.

"Well, Mr. Blake." said Foyt. "Here's your car. You have one month before the race starts. I suggest you use that time to familiarize yourself with the car."

"Got it." said Blake. He inserted the key into the ignition and turned it, bringing the 5.9 liter V-12 to life.

"Oh, you're probably going to need this." said Foyt as he handed Blake a card.

Blake smiled when he saw what it was: his driver's license. Blake kissed his license and said "Boy, I've missed you."

"You get that back on a more permanent basis after you complete this task for us." said Foyt.

"Thank you very much." said Blake. He pulled out...and ran over Foyt's foot.

----------

A few days later in Los Angeles, Marcie and Jessie had the radio on while they were working on the Scion's engine. They were outside with the engine on a cart while the car itself was in the garage.

_Words go flying at the speed of sound to show how it all began.  
Birds came flying from the underground.  
If you could see it, then you'd understand.  
Oh, when you see it, then you'll understand._

As the song trailed off and faded out, the D.J. came on and said "That was 'Speed of Sound', the latest from Coldplay. That rhymes with 'cold day', which this isn't! We're having another sunny Southern California afternoon and if you're not outside, you should be!"

"You think we should do this outside?" asked Jessie sarcasticly.

"Yeah, let's go there." said Marcie as the radio started playing Modest Mouse's "Float On".

"How long before we can apply the graphics to the car?" asked Jessie.

"Well, first Jill has to come back with them." said Marcie. "Then, we need to wait until we can apply them to the painted body."

_I backed my car into a cop car the other day.  
Well he just drove off, sometimes life's okay.  
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh, what did I say?  
Well, you just laughed it off, it was all okay._

Jill pulled into the driveway in her Civic and climbed out. "Okay, I picked up the vinyls." she said. "I also got...AH, mouse!"

Jessie looked around for the rodent. Marcie just laughed. "She does that everytime they play this song." she said. "What did you get us, Jill?"

"I got us a steering wheel, a shift knob, and some new rims." said Jill. "And in case you're wondering, they're all from Momo."

"Cool." said Marcie. "I can't wait until we can put the tires on the rims."

"You must be the only girl in L.A. who has a tire machine in her garage." said Jessie.

"Try the only person." said Marcie.

"Oh, and here's the vinyls." said Jill. She took the rolled up vinyls and unrolled them.

"Krikey!" said Jessie. "Those came out just as I'd hoped! How much longer?"

"Mmmm, maybe another week or so." said Marcie.

----------

The following day, J.J. had a splash of yellow paint down the sides of the car as well as the trunk. He was now masking off the car for another paint job.

A long, wide section of tape ran the length of the car on top of the yellow paint. He used a razor blade to cut the tape at the gap between doors. He then set the blade down and started pushing the tape into the gap.

Inside, Victor had set up and tested the radio. Satisfied with it, he opened the door to climb out. Unfortunately, the windows were masked off and he couldn't see J.J. squatting next to the car. J.J. couldn't see him either for the same reason, so the door hit him in the head and knocked him onto his back.

Victor emerged from the Crown Vic and saw what he had done. "Sorry." he said.

J.J. put his foot against the door and pushed it closed so that the window frame hit Victor in the head.

----------

In Seattle, Jackie and Brad were working on the Acura. The radio was tuned to a local top 40 station. Jackie was singing along to Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever" while installing a solar panel in the sunroof.

"You like Shakira?" asked Brad as he plugged in a couple of wires.

"Oh yeah." said Jackie. "The girl I was dating at the time was really into her and we just clicked."

"You and the girl or you and Shakira?" asked Brad.

"Very funny." said Jackie. "I'll bet there's a lot you don't know about me."

"One thing I'd like to know." said Brad. "Why paint the car black?"

"Well, we told the folks at Mitsubishi that the black color helps to keep the equipment cool." said Jackie. "Things that are painted in dark colors change temperature very quickly. Therefore, they can bleed off that heat in the dark. The SR-71 Blackbird is painted black for the same reason."

"Hey, guys." said Michael as he walked in with a small box. "Care for a tragic story?"

"Go ahead." said Jackie.

"Last week, a guy who owns another Acura TSX gets into said car," said Michael "drives to the store, and gets creamed by a high school student doing sixty in a residential neighborhood. All parties are treated and released at the local hospital, but both cars are completely trashed and taken to the local junkyard. That's where I found them and the Acura's alternator." He pulled the alternator out of the box and showed it to the guys. "What do you think? Think it'll help aleviate the drain on the battery?"

"Oh, that's good." said Jackie. "The solar panel I installed should help as well."

"Are we ready to install the cards for the you know what?" asked Michael.

"Yeah, I think we're ready." said Jackie. "Come on."

----------

In Chicago, the M3 was parked in the center of the garage on jacks with the interior, wheels, and engine removed. The paint had been sanded off. The engine was on a mount while the Drake was working on it with another guy. The Drake had his own radio set to a classic rock station which was playing some Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

Ron walked in and said "Hard to believe the great Seymour Drake does his own mod work."

"What can I say?" asked the Drake. "I'm full of surprises."

"So, what are you doing?" asked Ron.

"Right now, I'm trying to attach a Dinan high flow intake to the engine." said the Drake. "I'm almost done, in fact."

As the Drake finished bolting on the intake, a low rumble was heard outside. Just then, a '69 Oldsmobile 4-4-2 pulled up to the entrance of the garage and parked. A scruffy looking guy in faded jeans and a leather jacket climbed out. "BTO?" he asked. "Nice tunes."

"I take it you're Venom?" asked the Drake.

"Yeah, that's me." said Venom as he shook the Drake's hand. "Our mutual friend told me where I could find you. Seymour Drake, right?"

"The one and only...unless you count my dad." said the Drake. "This is the guy you'll be working with."

"Ron Lucas." said the Drake's normal bodyguard as he shook Venom's hand.

"They call me Venom." said his new partner.

"I thought so." said Ron. "You look like a Venom."

Venom laughed. "Who's this?" he asked of the guy working with the Drake.

"Oh, that's just Luke from DTM Power." said the Drake.

Luke just waved.

"So, what's up?" asked Venom.

"Well, I just finished with the engine." said the Drake. "I thought maybe you'd help me put it back in the car and we can discus your job over lunch."

"Okay, let's get to work." said Venom as the Drake winched the engine off the mount with an engine hoist. "What do you need done?"

"Just help me push this thing over to the engine bay." said the Drake. "Ron, you can push the lever to lower it in if you want."

"Okay." said Ron as he took his place by the controls to the engine hoist.

The Drake, Luke, and Venom pushed the engine over to the BMW's engine bay and then the Drake guided the engine into the bay as Ron lowered it. Finally, the engine came to rest on the frame.

"There." said the Drake. "The hard part's done."

"Good, let's get to lunch." said Ron.

"Hey, can you tell me something?" asked Venom. "How long do you think it would take if you were to take that engine back out, moved it around, and put it back in?"

"A couple of minutes, maybe." said the Drake.

"Good." said Venom. "Because you put it in backwards."

The Drake looked at his handywork. Sure enough, the transmission was now sitting where the bumper was supposed to go. Ron had to bite his finger to keep from laughing.

----------

In New York, the Crown Vic had been painted dark blue and the tape on the sides had been removed, leaving yellow stripes.

J.J. looked at the picture of the seal and looked at the door, sizing up the task. "Okay, let's get started." he said.

"Sure you don't need help?" asked Mad Dog.

"I've been painting models for most of my life." said J.J. "I've done a number of custom paint jobs. I think I can handle this."

He took out a set of paint jars and brushes, then taped a picture of the seal to the door to act as a guide. Then, he got started.

----------

In Kentucky, Mel, Terry, and Monkey had the hood off the Coronet. A George Strait CD was in the stereo. Monkey had set up theWeiand supercharger for a test fit and Terry was taking measurements.

"Whatcha doing?" asked Monkey.

"I'm trying to figure out how big to make the hole for the supercharger." said Terry as he stretched the tape measure from the edge of the fender to the intake manifold.

"Cool." said Monkey. "So, last night as I was trying to get to bed, and I got to thinking. When we're done fixing up the engine, maybe we should customize the car. So, I got out my sketch pad and did some drawings of what the car could look like should we decide to decorate it. I brought them with me, you can have a look during lunch."

"Sounds like a good idea." said Mel.

"What sounds like a good idea?" asked Mel's wife, Linda. The obviously six months pregnant woman had brought a bag from Subway.

"Monkey had some ideas concerning the design of the car." said Mel. "We're going to give those a look."

"Oh, okay." said Linda as she passed out sandwiches. "Who's Monkey?"

Monkey raised his hand. Mel and Terry pointed to him.

"Oh." said Linda. "Well, I'll let you guys get back to work."

Linda went back into the house.

"Looks like congratulations are in order." said Monkey.

"Yeah, I think so." said Mel. "We discussed it. I think it's time to settle down, take it easy. This will be my last Cannonball."

"Sorry to see you go." said Monkey.

Meanwhile, Terry was looking at Monkey's sketches. "Whoa!" he said. "You've got an eye for design, kid!"

"Thanks." said Monkey. "Anything jump out at you?"

"Yeah, this one right here." said Terry as he showed Monkey one of the sketches. "Mel, you like it?"

"Yeah, but I think we should do the paint in metallic." said Mel.

"Can do." said Monkey. "Hey, why is it so quiet?"

"Oh, the CD ran out." said Mel. "Hey, Terry. What are you in the mood for?"

"Brad Paisley, I guess." said Terry.

"Okay." said Mel. He quickly switched the CDs. As the sounds of Brad Paisley's music started to fill the garage, Mel turned around and saw a look of dread on Monkey's face.

----------

The following week in Miami, a line of people in 80's clothing were waiting to get into one of the city's popular nightclubs, the Kiwi Club. It was "80's Night", thus the reason for the outfits. "Send Me An Angel" by Real Life could be heard from the club.

At the front of the line, a girl was showing off her outfit to the bouncer. He split his time between checking her outfit and checking her ID.

"Nice duds." he said. "Too bad you can't show it off in there. Come back when you have a real ID. I can spot these from Tallahassee."

The girl took her ID back and stormed off. The next person in line was Doctor Nicolas Van Helsing. He was dressed as, not surprisingly, a doctor.

"I can't exactly figure out what this is supposed to represent." said the bouncer as he looked over the doctor.

"I'm here for a meeting with the club owner." said the doctor.

The bouncer checked the guest list and said "Oh, I see. Go on in."

The doctor entered the club and looked around. People all over were dancing to the music. Some were at the bar talking to each other. Just then, Danny walked out and said "Doctor Van Helsing?"

"Yes." said the doctor.

"Danny Mitchell." said Danny. "Let's find a table and we can talk."

Within a minute, they were seated at Danny's private table.

"So, Dr. Van Helsing." said Danny. "Mad Dog highly recommends you."

"Thanks." said the doctor. "You know, I couldn't help but notice your accent. Where are you from?"

"Auckland, New Zealand." said Danny proudly.

"Oh." said the doctor. "So, for '80's Night', shouldn't you be playing some Crowded House?"

Danny checked his watch. "Thirty seconds." he said. "New record."

"So, why did you call for me?" asked the doctor.

"Same reason I need this." said Danny as he handed the doctor his pills. "I'm scheduled for a kidney transplant just after the race."

"Can you do the race?" asked the doctor as he gave the pills back.

"Yeah, I think so." said Danny. "Of course, I'm going to need someone with medical experience to keep an eye on me."

"And Mad Dog suggested me." said the doctor. "Okay, I'll see what I can do."

"Are kidneys in your field of expertise?" asked Danny as he started to cringe.

"Proctology is my specialty," said the doctor "but I think kidneys are within my range."

"That's good." said Danny as he started to shift in his seat.

"So, what kind of car will be serving as my office?" asked the doctor.

"It's a car I just bought." said Danny, gasping a little. "It's an Audi TT Quattro."

"Could I see those pills?" asked the doctor. Danny handed them over and the doctor looked them over. "Whoa, it says here you should be having trouble keeping your pee in."

Danny nodded while gritting his teeth.

"Go." said the doctor. Danny jumped up and ran for the bathroom.

After a few seconds, the doctor got up and followed him. He walked up to the door and heard Danny moaning with relief.

"Oh, by the way," said the doctor "there is still the matter of my compensation."

"There's a check on the table!" said Danny.

The doctor walked over and picked up the check. After looking at it, he went back to the bathroom door and said "Thanks, this should pretty much cover it." Then, he left.

----------

A few days before the race, J.J. and his team looked over the finished police car. It was painted dark blue with gold stripes running down the sides. The front fenders and trunk had "State Police" on them in gold letters. The doors bore an intricate seal that J.J. had painstakingly recreated. A red light bar adorned the roof and radio antennas were mounted to the rear fenders. A mesh cage separated the front seats from the back. The hubcaps were just a simple cap over the center of the wheel.

"I think this might be the scariest car we've ever done." said Victor.

"Victor, you know these things are only scary if they're in your rearview with their lights on." said J.J.

"It looks almost authentic." said Mad Dog. "I think you'd have to park it next to a real one to see the difference, if any difference exists."

"Shall we?" asked J.J.

"Let's." said Victor.

AN:Please review. We will continue.


	3. Showing Up and Showing Off

Cannonball Run 2005 

Chapter Three: Showing Up and Showing Off

AN:Sorry for the long wait, but there was a family crisis going on while I was writing this. I know there's one reader who knows what I mean.

----------

"We've got a few days before the transplant." said the doctor. "I think we're cutting it a little close."

"Don't worry." said Danny as he drove his silver Audi TT 1.8T Quattro towards the tollbooth. "I'll be fine."

Danny pulled up to the tollbooth at the New Paltz exit of the New York State Thruway. He paid his toll and continued on his way.

"Nice sound system." said the doctor. "Is that a CD-R player?"

"Yeah, that's because as a club owner," said Danny "I usually get demos from aspiring artists. Tapes are on the way out. Writable CDs are making a big splash. Many of the demos I receive are on said CDs, but I usually don't have time to listen to them as I'm too busy managing the club. So, I have to listen to them in my car when I'm driving. Here's a group that appeared at the club when they were just starting out. Shortly afterward, they were discovered and are getting some airplay."

Danny popped the CD into the player and a few seconds later, the Caesars' "Jerk It Out" started playing.

**Wind me up.  
Put me down.  
Start me off and watch me go.**

Danny drove the Audi through the quaint college town of New Paltz, New York. There were shops, both local and national chains, along the streets. Danny thought many of the pedestrians were college students judging from their ages and the fact that many had backpacks or were carrying books.

**I'll be running circles around you  
sooner than you know.**

Soon, Danny drove across a bridge and came upon a road with a sign directing him to the Mohonk Mountain House. He turned down the road.

**A little off center,  
and I'm out of tune,  
just kicking this can along the avenue.  
But I'm alright.**

The road started to climb into the mountains. It also started to get windier. Danny displayed some professional driving skill and expertly handled the turns at sixty.

**'Cause it's easy when you know how it's done.  
You can't stop now, it's already begun.  
You feel it running through your bones.  
And you jerk it out.  
Jerk it out.**

At the peak, Danny saw a bridge over the road ahead and a gatehouse to his left. He also saw a sign directing him to the Mountain House. He turned down the road and pulled up to the gatehouse.

**Shut up,  
hush your mouth.  
Can't you hear you talk too loud.**

Danny showed the park ranger on duty his invitation and continued along the road. It divided shortly after the gatehouse into oncoming and outgoing roads.

**No, I can't hear nothing,  
'cause I got my head up in the clouds.**

After Danny navigated the road for a mile or so, it rejoined the oncoming lane at a meeting of several hiking trails. Danny slowed down so he wouldn't hit anybody.

**I bite off anything that I can chew.  
I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue.  
But that's okay.**

Danny continued to drive the road and eventually came upon the Mountain House.

**But it's easy when you know how it's done.  
You can't stop now, it's already begun.  
You feel it running through your bones.  
So you jerk it out.  
Jerk it out.**

Danny pulled up to the entrance and he and the doctor climbed out. "We're in the race." he told the parking attendant.

"Yo, Danny!" called Mad Dog.

"'ey, Mad Dog!" replied Danny.

"You told me about your problem and I was afraid you weren't gonna show." said Mad Dog.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." said Danny. "I'm sure a kidney would be okay."

"How's Doctor Van Helsing working out for you?" asked Mad Dog.

"Nicely." said Danny. "Thanks for the recommendation."

"No prob." said Mad Dog. "So, wanna talk about the race?"

"No talk." said Danny. "Bathroom!" With that, he ran off to the closest restroom.

"It's gonna be a long trip for that guy." said Mad Dog.

"Hey, Mad Dog." said Terry as he walked over.

"Terry Fletcher, as I live and breathe." said Mad Dog.

"Missed you last year." said Terry. "Want to see the car?"

"Got nothing better to do." said Mad Dog.

"Come on." said Terry. He led Mad Dog over to where it was parked.

Mad Dog let out a whistle when he saw the Coronet. The car had been painted metallic green and the black vinyl roof had been restored. Black stripes ran down the sides, broken at the front fenders and rear flanks and angling down near the rear. American Racing Salt Flat rims adorned the wheels. A square hole had been cut in the hood to make way for the Weiand supercharger amd Holley air scoop.

"Nice work." said Mad Dog. "Who designed this? Chip Foose?"

"He wasn't available." said Mel, who was leaning on the hood. "Luckily, Monkey here was up to the task."

"You should see what they rejected." said Monkey as he sat on the ground and leaned against the bumper.

"Hold on to some of those 'cause they might be useful someday." said Mad Dog. "Catch you later, Terry."

"Be seeing you, Mad Dog." said Terry.

As Mad Dog walked across the parking lot, Jackie called "Hey, Mad Dog! Smile for the camera!"

Jackie was sitting in the Acura, which had been painted gloss black, and was pointing a camera mounted in the sunvisor at him.

"You guys still at it?" asked Mad Dog. "I'm surprised Q-Branch hasn't snapped you up yet."

"They tried, but their offer was too low." said Michael.

"What else you got in this?" asked Mad Dog.

"It's a surprise." said Jackie.

"Who's this guy?" asked Brad.

"Oh, Mad Dog." said Michael. "Have you met Brad yet?"

"The Drake's friend?" asked Mad Dog. "No, I don't think I have."

Brad walked forth and shook hands with Mad Dog. "So, you organized this because you missed the race last year?"

"Yeah, I heard we got you to thank for last year's race." said Mad Dog.

"It's amazing what a little dare will do." said Brad.

"Well, nice talking, but I got other things to take care of." said Mad Dog.

"See you at the start." said Jackie.

Mad Dog walked out of the parking lot. Just then, he heard someone yell "Yo, Mad Dog!"

"I'm just the man of the hour today." said Mad Dog as he turned around. He was somewhat floored by what he saw.

It was the Drake's BMW M3. The car had been painted a deep crimson with gold pinstripes running from the vents in the front fenders to the rear fenders and up onto the spoiler. Hartge body modifications had been mounted including a front splitter, hood, rear skirt, and mirrors. Hartge Classic rims with a gold finish were mounted to the wheels with Nitto tires.

"Nice wheels, Drake." said Mad Dog.

"He did most of the work himself." said Venom.

"Yeah, the last guy actually put the engine in backwards." said Ron. "Can you believe that?"

"Who's this guy?" asked Mad Dog.

"They call me Venom." said the guy.

"Not gonna argue with that." said Mad Dog.

"Hey, you should be one to talk, _Mad Dog_." said Venom.

"Hey, where can I park this thing?" asked the Drake.

"There's a section for BMW's over there." said Mad Dog as he pointed. "Just look for twin-kidney grills. Can't miss it."

"Alright, I'll be around." said the Drake.

"Okay." said Mad Dog. "By the way, your friend Brad is alsohere."

"I'll see him too." said the Drake as he drove to the section Mad Dog indicated.

Mel and Monkey walked around the cars. Monkey gave a long, hard look to a blue Nissan 350Z with a C-West body kit. The hood was open, showing off some high performance upgrades. "I'd like to work on one of these someday." he said.

"You just might." said Mel. "Look, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"What?" asked Monkey.

"I noticed you have a slight distaste for country music." said Mel. "I was thinking we could hit the mall while we're here and pick you up some CDs of your own."

"I don't know." said Monkey. "I mean I can tolerate country music pretty well..."

"What's the first name of Brooks from Brooks and Dunn?" asked Mel.

Monkey thought for a couple of seconds. "Garth?" he finally answered.

"Let's go." said Mel.

The Drake found a parking space between a stock-looking silver M5 and a bright yellow M3 coupe with a carbon fiber hood and a windshield banner that read "Teckademics". He slipped the shifter into reverse and backed towards the space. Unfortunately, he didn't get it over far enough and ended up backing into the front of the M5, setting off the airbag. This was especially bad for the man in the front seat who got a map knocked into his face by the airbag.

"Sorry." said the Drake. He then got out to inspect the damage.

While he was inspecting the damage, Brad walked over. "Well, it looks like our challenge continues." he said.

The Drake turned his head to Brad slowly. "Hello, Brad." he said. "Couldn't let this go either?"

"We ended in a stalemate last year." said Brad. "You know me."

"Better than I wish." said the Drake. "You're seriously pitting your Acura against my BMW?"

"We've got quite a few tricks up our collective sleeves." said Brad.

"It's going to take more than tricks to take on this little Bimmer." said the Drake.

"Are you calling me out again?" asked Brad.

"Absolutely." said the Drake. "What's the wager? A mil?"

"Let's make it a little more interesting." said Brad. "Let's say in the highly unlikely chance that you win, I'll give you one of my companies. If I win, however, you'll give me one of your companies."

"Sounds like a deal." said the Drake. "I've got a sharp eye on that Italian restaurant in Columbus."

"Not that." said Brad. "If you should win, I'll tell you what you can have."

A low growl was heard. Everyone turned to see what it was. It was the Scion entering the parking lot. The car was fixed up with a Kaminari body kit and spoiler. It was painted in pearlescent paint that seemed to fade from yellow to orange. The vinyls displayed a view of the Perth skyline. The wheels were Momo Tuners with yellow spokes and fitted with Toyo Proxes T1R tires.

The car stopped in the middle of the parking lot with everybody looking at it. Suddenly, the driver's side door opened and Jessie climbed out. She took a quick look around and said "G'Day!"

The passenger side door opened next and Jill climbed out. "Hey, how's it going?" she asked.

"Guys, get me out of here!" yelled Marcie as she struggled to get out of the backseat. Jill reached in and pulled her out.

Someone let out a whistle and said "Sweet ride." Several of the people gathered around to look at the Scion.

Marcie walked around to stretch her legs. She caught sight of the Coronet as Mel and Monkey were getting ready to take off.

"Just look for the sign that says 9W and you should be able to find the mall, no problem." said Terry as he showed them the atlas.

"Hey, Terry! Nice car!" said Marcie. "Did you do this yourself?"

"Well, Mel and Monkey helped." said Terry as he pointed to his companions while handing them the keys. "I had the internals worked out and Monkey lent a hand there. He also came up with the car's appearance."

"Monkey?" asked Marcie.

"Oh yeah." said Mel. "Monkey, this is Marcie Thatcher. Marcie, Monkey."

Monkey gave Marcie a quick wink. "Saw that Scion you rolled in with." he said. "Did you do that?"

"I did much of the engine work." said Marcie. "I didn't have a lot to work with since the tC is so new to the market. There aren't a lot of aftermarket parts available for it yet. Jessie came up with the overall look, though."

"Jessie?" asked Mel. "You mean that Australian racer who lent you her Skyline last year?"

"That's her." said Marcie. "She picked out the body kit, rims, paint job, and even designed the vinyls."

"Nice work." said Terry. "I guess we'll see you around."

"Nice catching up with you." said Marcie.

"Yeah, well enjoy it." said Mel. "It's the only catching up with us you'll actually do."

Marcie walked off as Terry walked away with his atlas and Mel and Monkey climbed into the Coronet.

"Well, that was Marcie." said Mel. "She's a street racer in L.A. What did you think of her?"

"I think I'm in love." said Monkey.

----------

The Mountain House was next to a large lake with dense forest and rocky cliffs on either side. A dock with paddle boats and canoes extended into this lake. Blake and Fenderbaum were standing on this dock when Mad Dog found them.

"I can see you're here." he said.

"Where else would we be?" asked Fenderbaum.

"Did you see our Aston Martin?" asked Blake.

"That's yours?" asked Mad Dog. "Where do you get these toys?"

Blake and Fenderbaum couldn't reveal where they had gotten the car, but they also couldn't come up with a decent lie or even a wisecrack.

"Ah, never mind." said Mad Dog after a few seconds.

"So, think we got a chance?" asked Blake.

"I have to tell you something." said Mad Dog as he walked in close to them. "The Drake told me about that little stunt you pulled last year with you selling him out to that Australian crime lord. I had you figured as a pair of poor sports, maybe cheaters, but I never thought you'd set up someone for your own gain like that. Let me tell you. If you pull a stupid stunt like that this year, do not bother to come back next year. Even if I'm not in charge, your betrayal will be noted and your participation will be denied. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah." said Blake. "I got it."

"Good." said Mad Dog. "I'll go now. I got business to take care of."

Mad Dog turned and walked away. "Yeah, we'll see about that." said Blake. He turned to walk away himself, but forgot where he was. He ended up stepping off the dock and landing face-first in the lake. Luckily, the lake was only a foot deep there and he was able to stand up and climb out.

----------

Terry watched this happen while sitting in a chair on the veranda and reading the road atlas. As he went back to the atlas, Mel and Monkey returned.

"And the third track on this one is really nice." said Monkey as he looked through his bag of CDs. "It's like they start playing through one song, then a minute in, they switch to another. It's kinda like 'Bohemian Rhapsody' on a smaller scale."

"I see." said Mel as he went to Terry. "Or at least I would if I knew what 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was."

"It was the song they were headbanging to in 'Wayne's World'." said Monkey.

"So, how's your day?" asked Mel.

"Okay, I guess." said Terry. "So, what CDs did Monkey get?"

"Rock CDs." said Mel. "I didn't catch the bands. Hey, Monkey, what CDs did you get?"

"Let's see." said Monkey. "Bowling For Soup, Good Charlotte, Maroon 5, Franz Ferdinand, Jimmy Eat World, and Queens of the Stone Age."

"Thank you." said Mel. "So, whatcha got there?"

"Look at this." said Terry as he showed Mel the atlas. "This is the Thruway that we took to get here. Notice what direction it runs in?"

"North and south." said Mel.

"Due north and south." said Terry. "But what about this road here?"

"Northeast and southwest." said Mel. "It's more direct. But it's a two-lane highway. It's probably not as fast."

"It's still shorter." said Terry. "If we play our cards right, we might shave off thirty minutes? An hour?"

"Maybe." said Mel. "Terry, there's something else."

"What's that?" asked Terry.

"Monkey and I were meeting the other Cannonballers." said Mel. "And I think he's got a thing for one of them."

Terry laughed. "See?" he said. "That never would have happened if he'd stayed home under his father's thumb. So, who is it? That girl in the 350Z? One of those girls with the Crossfire?"

"It's Marcie." said Mel.

"Oh." said Terry.

"What do you think about that?" asked Mel.

"I don't know." said Terry. "Monkey and Marcie? Whoa. Think she likes him?"

----------

Marcie walked into the Picnic Lodge and found Jill and Jessie eating. "Hey, enjoy your walk?" asked Jill.

"Yeah." said Marcie. "Mad Dog picked a good place for a starting line."

"Have a seat." said Jessie. "You're in time for lunch."

"Okay." said Marcie as she sat down. "So, what did I miss?"

"We got a few more compliments on the Scion." said Jill. "We told them you did the mechanical work, no problem."

"Then, we decided to catch a little bite here and wait for you." said Jessie. "Well, if you don't mind, I gotta hit the little Sheila's room."

Jessie got up and went to the bathroom.

"Jill, can I talk to you about something?" asked Marcie.

"What is it?" asked Jill.

"You see that guy Mel and Terry brought with them?" asked Marcie.

"The skinny guy?" asked Jill. "What about him?"

"I think he's into me." said Marcie.

"Seriously?" asked Jill.

"Seriously." said Marcie. "I saw the look on his face. He was into me."

"So, what's his name?" asked Jill.

"Monkey." said Marcie.

"Monkey?" asked Jill.

"Monkey." said Marcie.

"Where the hell did he pick up a name like that?" asked Jill.

"I don't know." said Marcie.

"What do you think of him?" asked Jill.

"He's charming." said Marcie. "I'd like to get him alone over an SR20."

"That charming, huh?" asked Jill. "I think I'll ask Mel and Terry about him next time I see them."

Just then, Jessie returned from the bathroom. "So, what did I miss?" she asked.

"Sit down for this." said Marcie. "You're gonna get an earful."

----------

Across the lake from the Mountain House, a stone tower stood atop the rocky cliffs. At the moment, J.J. stood atop the tower while holding a small box in his hand. "Pamela, we've been together for two years now." he whispered. "I know we didn't exactly start on a good note, but things have worked out well. What I'm asking is, Pamela, will you..." Suddenly, he dropped the box. He tried to grab it, but missed. The box fell to the ground below.

A couple of minutes later, J.J. decended the tower and found Michael sitting on the step holding his head. Jackie was standing next to him.

"Sorry about that." said J.J. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." said Michael.

"This yours?" asked Jackie as he handed J.J. the box.

"Yes it is. Thanks." said J.J. He then turned and walked away.

When he was out of earshot, Michael asked "So, what was in the box?"

"A ring." said Jackie. "It was a diamond ring."

"Really?" asked Michael. "Oh, I know what's going on. I think J.J's got a little question for Pamela."

"A question?" asked Jackie. "Oh! THAT question!"

"Oh yeah!" said Michael. "Looks like J.J. is finally going to the next gear."

----------

That night, a Cannonball tradition took place. That was the pre-race party. Before that, Jill, Marcie, and Jessie got ready.

"All set?" asked Jill.

"Oy." said Jessie.

"Then, let's go." said Marcie. "Party's not gonna wait for us."

They left their hotel room and started for the party.

"You know, this is a little unusual for me." said Jessie. "Normally, we have parties after the race."

Down the hall, two men were talking with the house detective. "The room was like this when we came back." said one of them.

"I assume you haven't touched anything?" asked the detective.

"Of course not." said the other. "We wouldn't want to impede your investigation."

"What's going on here?" asked Jill.

"There's been a robbery." said the detective. "Someone broke into the room these guys were in."

"We were out shooting video and the room was like this when we got back." said the first.

"You see, we're documentary filmmakers." said the other. "We came to shoot the race from a participant's point of view."

"What did they take?" asked Marcie.

"We checked the room." said the first. "All that was stolen was one of our tapes."

"That's it?" asked Jill. "What'd they want with that?"

"Apparently, there was something on the tape they didn't want seen." said the other. "That, or there was something they needed on the tape."

----------

In their room, Blake tried setting up the computer while Fenderbaum tried to fit the stolen tape in a tape player.

"Are you done yet?" asked Fenderbaum.

"Almost." said Blake. "I'm still trying to figure out how to use this operating system."

"Relax, okay?" said Fenderbaum. "The most commonly asked question from computer newbies is 'Where's the 'Any' key?'"

"Sheesh, even I know where that is." said Blake.

"Okay, this device is supposed to read the tape and transfer the images to the computer." said Fenderbaum.

"And I've got us on the internet." said Blake. "Let's get to copying that tape."

"I'm trying." said Fenderbaum as he worked with the controls. "It's not working."

"Let me try." said Blake. He walked over and pushed a couple of buttons. The tape player let out a weird noise and then clicked. Blake pushed the eject button and pulled the tape out. Actually, he pulled the tape's case out. The tape itself was stuck in the mechanism. "Well, now what?" he asked.

----------

The party was being held in the banquet hall. The stereo system was set up and playing dance music.

One of the racers climbed on top of one of the stereo speakers and got ready to dive into the crowd. As he jumped, Mad Dog broke up the crowd and the diver hit the floor.

"Sorry about that." said Mad Dog as he helped the guy up. "But we promised the hotel staff no stage diving."

Monkey sat on the table near Mel and Terry. Jill spotted them and started to walk over.

"Oh cool." said Monkey. "They brought out more cola. Hold on, I'll be right back."

As Monkey ran for the refreshments table, Jill walked up to Mel and Terry. "Hey, guys." she said.

"Oh hi, Jill." said Mel.

"How are things in L.A?" asked Terry.

"Oh, the ususal." said Jill. "Smog, street gangs, earthquakes."

Mel and Terry laughed.

"So, who was that guy?" asked Jill.

"That was Monkey." said Terry. He knew that Marcie had most likely told her about him.

"So, what's he like?" asked Jill.

"Well, uh..." said Mel as he tried to come up with a way to describe him. "He's uh, he's a little uh, he's kinda uh, he's sorta..."

Terry slapped him in the chest.

"He's weird." said Mel.

"Yeah, we were kinda surprised when we heard about Marcie." said Terry.

"You and me both." said Jill. "Think those two might have a chance?"

"Possibly." said Mel. "I mean stranger things have happened here."

"Like what?" asked Jill.

"Haven't you been paying attention the last couple of years?" asked Terry.

"Oh yeah." said Jill. "Good point."

Elsewhere, the Drake was standing with Ron and Venom. Brad, Jackie, and Michael walked towards them.

"Here comes Brad." said the Drake.

"Crunch time." said Venom. He turned to Ron and asked "Who are those two shifty operators with him?"

"Jackie Lewis and Michael North." said Ron. "They came to our attention a couple of years ago when they entered with a modified Subaru Impreza. They were seniors at M.I.T. at the time."

Venom took a long, hard look at the two. "I think you got the situation well in hand." he said. "I'm gonna hit the can."

Brad walked up to the Drake and said "Skydiving."

"What about it?" asked the Drake.

"That's what I'm going to do with that flight school of yours when I win it." said Brad. "I'm going to add a skydiving business."

"You know what they say." said the Drake. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch. You haven't won yet, so don't make any plans at the moment."

"I see you've got a firm grasp of the situation." said Brad. "You gonna dance on the roof of an SUV next?"

"Oh, very funny." said the Drake. "I'm not going to let you have the flight school, which added a skydiving business last month, by the way. Maybe you can have that car dealership I own in Minneapolis."

"What make of car?" asked Brad.

The Drake started looking around nervously. "Isuzu." he finally said.

"Here's an idea." said Brad. "How about each of us writes down five businesses the other owns and then the other picks one as a prize?"

"Sounds good to me." said the Drake.

In the bathroom, Venom looked for a free stall. He found Danny cringing as he used the urinal.

"Burns?" asked Venom.

"No, I just had a lot to get out." said Danny.

"Let me guess." said Venom. "New Zealand."

"Hey, that's right." said Danny as he zipped up. "Almost everybody assumes I'm Australian."

"I used to date a kiwi girl." said Venom. "North Island?"

"South." said Danny. "Auckland to be exact."

"Well, I got the country right." said Venom.

----------

Out in the parking lot, Blake and Fenderbaum looked around with a flashlight.

"What does this one say?" asked Blake.

"AIC 762, New York." said Fenderbaum as he read a license plate with the flashlight.

"Okay." said Blake as he wrote the number down on his PDA.

"Hey, you think about what Mad Dog said?" asked Fenderbaum. "About if we got caught, we'd be out next year?"

"That's why we gotta make damn sure they get these guys." said Blake as he struggled to write. "I think this thing's out of ink!"

"Well, what if we don't?" asked Fenderbaum. "Then, that's it. It's over for us."

"Maybe it's for the best." said Blake. "Every year, we try some scheme or something. It fails. We try to eliminate the competition. They survive. We give our best. It's not enough. Maybe we just weren't cut out for the Cannonball."

"And maybe we take it down with us." said Fenderbaum.

----------

In the bathroom...

"If I could single out one of my countrymen as really cool," said Danny "I think I'd pick...Sam Neill."

"Okay, if you say so." said Venom. "I'd pick Phil Keoghan myself."

"Phil Keoghan?" asked Danny.

"I like to watch 'The Amazing Race'." said Venom. "It relaxes me."

There was a knock at the door. "Hey, are you almost done in there?" asked someone on the other side.

"Oh yeah." said Danny.

Danny and Venom left the bathroom.

"What's going on?" asked Venom as he walked up to the Drake.

"Entertainment." said the Drake.

"Ladies and gentlemen...and Cannonballers," announced Mad Dog "It's time for some live music. If you're in the mood for something new, that's goodbecause that's what we've got. Put your hands in the air for...Batman."

The crowd applauded as Batman took to the stage. His drummer started tapping out a beat while his keyboardist took to his synthesizer. Batman took to his own and started hitting a few notes as his guitarist and bassist joined in. Then, he started to sing.

**I saw her. Yeah, I saw her.  
With a black tongue tied around the roses.  
A fist pounding on a vending machine.  
Toy diamond ring stuck on her finger.  
With a noose she could hang from the sun.  
And point it out with the dark sunglasses.  
Walking crooked down the beach.  
She spits in the sand.  
Where their bones are bleaching.**

**And I know I'm gonna steal her eye.  
She doesn't even know it's wrong.  
And you know I'm gonna make it die.  
Take her where her soul belongs.  
Know I'm gonna steal her eye.  
Nothing that I wouldn't try.**

**My summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.  
My summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.**

**I saw her. Yeah, I saw her.  
With her hands tied back.  
Her rags are burnin.  
Callin' out from a landfilled life.  
Scrawling her name up on the ceiling.  
Throw a coin in the fountain of dust.  
White noise, her ears are ringing.  
Got a ticket for my midnight hanging.  
Throw a bullet from a freight train leaving.**

**And I know I'm gonna steal her eye.  
She doesn't even know it's wrong.  
And you know I'm gonna make it die.  
Take her where her soul belongs.  
Know I'm gonna steal her eye.  
Nothing that I wouldn't try.**

**My summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.  
My summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.**

**Hey, my summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.  
My summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.**

**Hey, my summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.  
My summer girl.  
Hey, my summer girl.**

-"Girl" by Beck.

The crowd cheered. Batman went back to the mic and said "Thank you. We'll be doing another song in a few minutes. I call it 'High 5'."

J.J. turned to Pamela and said "Pamela, could we have a moment alone?"

"Oh, okay." said Pamela. They walked towards the balcony.

As J.J. and Pamela walked away, Batman picked up a water pistol someone had thrown on stage. "Whoa, what's up with this?" he asked calmly. "Who threw this?"

----------

Out on the balcony, Pamela sat in one of the chairs while J.J. sat in another. "So, what's this about?" she asked.

"Pamela, we've been going together for two years now." said J.J. "I know we didn't exactly meet under the best circumstances."

"That's an understatement." she said.

"Yeah." said J.J. "Basicly, you gave up so much for me. You moved out here to New York to be with me. You left a nice home and a good job."

"Found a better one of each." said Pamela.

"Anyways, what I'm trying to say is this." said J.J. "Pamela, will you..."

"J.J!" said Victor, laughing as he walked out onto the balcony. "J.J, you wouldn't believe the story Batman just told us! It was all brought up by that water gun!"

"Uh, Victor." said J.J. "This is not a good time."

"But you gotta hear this!" said Victor.

"It'll keep!" said J.J.

"It was the funniest thing!" said Victor.

"I can wait." said Pamela. She got up and left without J.J. noticing.

"Not now!" said J.J.

"I gotta tell you now!" said Victor.

"I have to ask Pamela something!" said J.J. holding his hand out to the empty seat.

"Where is she?" asked Victor.

J.J. turned to see Pamela had left.

"Now, do you want to hear the story?" asked Victor.

"No!" yelled J.J. He got up and left.

"What a grouch!" groused Victor.


	4. Green Flag

Cannonball Run 2005 

Chapter Four: Green Flag

AN:I just want to warn you that there's a urine joke near the end. Guess who.

----------

The morning after the party, the Cannonballers made a few last minute preparations to their cars.

The 350Z had its hood open, showing off the annodized blue turbocharger and intake manifold. Blue neon lights accentuated the look. The car's driver fielded any questions asked of her. Meanwhile, her passenger had his jacket off and was showing off the bruises he'd acqired from his stage diving mishap the previous night.

Another team had the hood of their '62 Buick Special open and were checking the car's revs against the dyno.

A European racing team showed off their cars, an Hommell Berlinette and an Opel Speedster Turbo.

An environmentalist group posed for pictures with their entry, a Honda Insight.

In front of the yellow M3, the documentary filmmakers reshot their introduction.

"The reason why we're shooting this intro so late is because the tape with our previous intro was stolen." explained one of them while the other filmed it.

Next to them, the Drake tried to make himself comfortable in his own M3. His attempts ended when Brad came to his window.

"I have my list." said Brad. "Do you have yours?"

"Right here." said the Drake. He handed his list to Brad and vice versa.

"Wait a minute." said Brad. "Some of these aren't your properties."

"Yes, they are." said the Drake.

"No, I know for a fact that this one isn't." said Brad.

"Well, it's mine." said the Drake as Ron and Venom walked over. "Surprised?"

"What's yours?" asked Ron.

"These properties." said Brad as he showed them the list.

"The Navy Pier?" laughed Venom. "Yeah, right."

The Drake slid down in his seat and covered his face with his hand.

----------

Blake and Fenderbaum sat on the hood of their Aston Martin and looked around. "Look at all these rubes." said Blake.

"Yeah." said Fenderbaum. "And just think. None of them know what's in store for them."

Mad Dog walked over to them. He had a trenchcoat on. "Hey, I missed you at the party last night." he said. "Where were you?"

Blake and Fenderbaum tried to think of an excuse or even a wisecrack. They both drew a blank.

"Ah, you should've been there." said Mad Dog. "Batman put on a great performance."

"Oh, really?" said Blake.

"Yeah." said Mad Dog. "Now, he's off to secure the finish line."

"Where's that?" asked Blake.

"Yeah, you haven't mentioned where the finish line is yet." said Fenderbaum.

"It's a surprise." said Mad Dog. "Sorry, I gotta be a little ambiguous. There have been complications."

"Oh, okay." said Blake.

----------

"Still sounds like the best route out of here." said Jill.

"The way we came in, right." said Jessie as Marcie walked over.

"And here comes lovergirl." said Jill.

"Thanks." said Marcie.

"So, how does it feel to have a bloke take an interest in you?" asked Jessie.

"Okay, I know this Monkey guy is into me." said Marcie. "He sounds like an okay guy, maybe a little odd, but okay. But we just met and I'm really not sure."

"I'm sure you'll see him again." said Jill. "I talked it over with Terry and Mel. We'll see if we can set you up."

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding." said Marcie.

"Come on." said Jessie. "For all you know, he's probably the perfect guy."

"He calls himself Monkey!" said Marcie. "What kind of a guy does that?"

----------

"So, where'd you get a name like Monkey?" asked Mel as he loaded cans of soda into a cooler.

"Well, believe it or not, it's my real name." said Monkey as he loaded the CD player. "Yeah, dad gave me Monkey as a name. Disrespect started before I was born. You want Gretchen Wilson or Big and Rich?"

"Big and Rich." said Mel. "So, what's the deal with you and Marcie?"

"If I can get just ten minutes alone with her," said Monkey "I'd tell her everything I need to tell her about my feelings. Tell her how she makes the world disappear when she's around. Tell her how I'd like to have moments with her together working on our things. Tell her how she makes me forget my dad hates me."

"You should write country songs." said Mel. "So, what do you have in there first?"

"Franz Ferdinand." said Monkey. "What's this shortcut Terry's talking about?"

Mel shushed him. "It's a secret." he whispered.

----------

The doctor made himself comfortable in the Audi as Danny returned.

"You were in there a long time." said the doctor.

"I had a lot to get out." said Danny. "Plus we have to manage our stops. I can't stop racing every half-hour to pee. Think of the positions I'll lose."

"I know." said the doctor. "That's why I got you this." He then handed Danny a large bottle. "They use these in hospitals for guys who can't get out of bed."

"I can see I have to call Miami-Dade Audi and arrange a seat replacement already." said Danny.

"I thought so." said the doctor. He handed Danny a towel and said "I got you these for that reason."

"You're too kind." said Danny.

----------

J.J. looked over the engine in the Crown Victoria. Like Mad Dog, he was wearing a trenchcoat. Jackie and Michael walked over.

"Hey, J.J." said Jackie.

"So, how'd it go?" asked Michael.

"To tell the truth, it didn't." said J.J. as he closed the hood. "I was about to, then Victor came in with Batman's water pistol story."

Jackie laughed. "Oh, sorry." he said. "Just thinking of the story."

"Right." said J.J. "Anyway, I'm looking for the next opportunity to ask her. Real shame too. The speech was beautiful."

"Well, good luck with that." said Michael. "I'm telling you that you two belong together."

"Alright, see you around." said J.J. as Jackie and Michael walked away. "I've got to hear that story sometime."

----------

"Alright, people." said Mad Dog. "It's time to start the race. I'd like to thank you all for showing up. God, I missed this last year. I'd also like to thank Mohonk Mountain House for having us. I gotta come back here someday.

"As you may have heard, the stakes have been raised on the race. I've been informed that the penalties for getting pulled over will be much more severe this time around. We have also discovered that someone in the race may be a mole trying to filter information to the police. We've had to take drastic measures. When you get your time card, you will also be given directions to one of four checkpoints. At these checkpoints, which should only add one or two minutes to your journey, you will be given directions to the next checkpoint. The last checkpoint will give you directions to the finish line.

"However, you should relax. This is a happy occasion. This is the Cannonball, a combination road race, car meet, and party..." He then removed the trenchcoat, revealing he was wearing the uniform of a New York State Trooper. "...complete with costumes. Don't worry, guys. I haven't joined the force. This is part of our teams' gimmick.

"Right now, we should get on the road. The race isn't gonna win itself. So, let's get this show on the road. Everybody, get to your cars."

The Cannonballers ran down a wooden staircase to the parking lot where their cars were. J.J, Victor, and Pamela took off the trenchcoats they were wearing. Victor was also wearing a State Trooper's uniform and J.J. and Pamela were wearing orange jumpsuits with the words "Ulster County Correctional Facility" on the back.

Blake ran over to them and said "Copycat!"

"Traitor!" replied Victor.

"What? What?" asked Blake nervously.

"'Cause of what you did to the Drake last year." said Victor.

"Oh." said Blake. He ran to the Aston Martin. Fenderbaum had just gotten in.

Blake was getting in when he noticed the cars whose license numbers he and Fenderbaum had written down were being ignored.

A race official was walking by. "Uh, excuse me." said Blake. "Shouldn't we get the drivers of those cars?"

"Oh, those cars aren't in the race." said the official. "Those belong to the hotel staff."

The official walked away while Blake looked scared. "Fenderbaum, did we e-mail that list to Foyt yet?" he asked. Fenderbaum looked scared too.

Mel, Terry, and Monkey piled into the Coronet. Terry gave the ignition key a quick twist and brought the Hemi to life. He also got the stereo started. Franz Ferdinand's "Jacqueline" filled the car quickly.

The Cannonballers headed down the stairs as quickly as the stairs' construction would allow. The crowd stopped and parted to let the first car through. It was a red '89 Skyline GT-R. After the crowd let it through, it drove up the roadway, around a bend, past the front of the Mountain House, around to the back, and through an archway. In the archway was the time clock to start the race. The Skyline stopped next to the clock and the driver jumped out, punched the card in the clock, and ran back to the car. She gave the checkpoint directions to her passenger and drove off.

Jackie was behind the wheel of the Acura with Brad in the front passenger seat and Michael using his computer in the backseat. After a long series of taps, an aerial view of the car came up on his monitor. "I got it." he said.

"Got what?" asked Brad.

"You hacked into the satellite?" asked Jackie.

"What?" asked Brad.

"It's a surveillance satellite." said Michael. "I'd rather not know why it's looking at America, but I managed to hack into it."

"Why?" asked Brad.

"Check your monitor." said Michael. "That is us in the center. There, you can see our surroundings including cops, accidents, other Cannonballers..." He looked at the monitor and leaned in for a closer look. "Hey, hey. Check the monitor."

Jackie and Brad looked at the monitor. Two cars ahead of them was an old Fiat 500R.

"I have a feeling he's not serious about winning." said Brad.

"Or maybe he's got the right idea." said Jackie. "You know, capturing the spirit of the race."

"I'll tell you this." said Michael. "If he wins, I'm gonna eat this keyboard."

Fenderbaum punched the clock and got back in the Aston Martin. Blake was on his phone. "Come on. Pick up." he said.

"Any luck?" asked Fenderbaum.

"No, he's not picking up." said Blake as he closed the phone and pulled out of the archway. "What's he doing that's so important, he can't answer his phone?"

By the time the Coronet was ready to pull out of the parking lot, the CD had reached the third track.

_I'm just a crosshair.  
I'm just a shot, then we can die._

_I know I won't be leaving here with you._

It was then that the music changed. Monkey started to bang his head to the tune.

The Scion pulled alongside. Marcie was in the front passenger seat while Jessie drove and Jill sat in back.

_I say don't you know.  
You say you don't know.  
I say...take me out._

"Hey, Terry!" yelled Marcie. "Is that Franz Ferdinand? I am SO impressed!"

Terry turned around and said "Hey, Monkey! Your girlfriend likes your music!"

Marcie turned to look at the backseat passenger of the Coronet. It was Monkey hiding his face in his hands.

"Well, that was awkward." said Marcie.

Mad Dog was next into the archway. Victor jumped out, punched the clock, and jumped back in.

"Let's show these guys what we're made of." said Victor.

"Mad Dog, are you crying?" asked Pamela.

"I missed this." said Mad Dog.

----------

Within ten minutes, all thirty cars in the race had punched out and were heading for the main roads.

The Drake's BMW, Danny's Audi, Terry's Coronet, and Jessie's Scion approached the split in the access road.

"Come on, pass this guy." said the doctor.

"Wait a second." said Danny.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" asked Venom.

"I spent three weeks working on this car." said the Drake. "I'm not going to risk crashing it so soon after we've begun."

"I think you'd better explain that to the driver of that Audi." said Ron.

"Pass him." said the doctor.

"Hold on." said Danny.

The two cars went into the turn just before the split. As the cars were going through the turn, Danny cut the wheel a little sharper and passed the BMW through the apex, making it through the split first.

"Hey!" yelled the Drake.

"Told you to hammer it." said Venom.

----------

In the Aston Martin, Fenderbaum dialled his cel phone and put it to his ear. After a few seconds, he yelled "Damn!"

"Still can't reach Foyt?" asked Blake.

"No, I got a busy signal." said Fenderbaum. "Where is he?"

"I dunno, but I'm getting worried." said Blake.

"Maybe this is a sign we shouldn't be doing this." said Fenderbaum.

"If it was, we should've gotten it long ago." said Blake.

Fenderbaum dialled again and put the phone to his ear. "Still nothing." he said. "What are you doing, Foyt?"

----------

The Audi raced past the gatehouse at high speed. The BMW raced by a couple of seconds later. Both cars took a quick right onto the road.

The Coronet was next, but took a left instead. The Scion took a right like the other two.

"Where's Terry going?" asked Jill.

"The guy's bonzer loco." said Jessie. "He's going the wrong way."

----------

The Crown Victoria and Acura made their way down the mountain road and headed for New Paltz.

"Okay, we just have to get across the bridge and we're in New Paltz." said Victor.

"Mad Dog, can I give you some advice?" asked J.J.

"Yeah?" asked Mad Dog.

"Take the sidestreets through New Paltz." said J.J. "At this time of day, traffic's gonna be murder."

"Good point." said Mad Dog. "Thanks a lot."

"That bad?" asked Pamela.

"The usual college traffic mixed in with the Cannonballers is going to snarl this little town." said J.J.

----------

"How are we getting to the Thruway?" asked Brad.

"Probably the same way we came in." said Jackie. "299 through New Paltz, right?"

"That's the plan." said Michael as he checked the satellite monitor. "Whoa!"

"What's wrong?" asked Brad.

"New Paltz looks like a parking lot." said Michael. "I never thought I'd see a traffic jam this bad outside of Boston."

"Are there any Cannonballers in it?" asked Jackie.

Michael checked the monitor again. "Hell yeah." he said. "Wait, make the first right after the bridge."

"I kinda feel sorry for anyone stuck in that." said Jackie.

----------

Minutes later, Danny, the Drake, and Jessie had discovered J.J's prediction was correct. The combination of Cannonballers and college students going to lunch had gridlocked New Paltz.

"Come on! Move it!" yelled Jill.

"No use." said Marcie. "We're all stuck."

"This kinda reminds me of that R.E.M. video." said Ron.

"Yeah, only you can't say 'Cut!'" said the Drake.

"This snarl goes as far as I can see." said the doctor as he leaned out the window.

"If that's not bad enough, I gotta go again." said Danny as he took out the bottle.

"I didn't enter this race to get stuck in a traffic jam fifteen minutes after I started." said the Drake. "There has to be a way out of this."

"Start looking, I guess." said Venom. He and the others started to look around.

"Mr. Drake." said Ron. "Maybe we can cut through that shopping plaza."

"That's provided we can get out of this mess." said Venom. "We're pretty much bumper-to-bumper here."

"Not a problem." said the Drake as he took out his phone. "Ron, what's Jill's phone number?"

"I'll save you the trouble." said Ron as he got out of the car.

Ron ran back to the Scion and leaned down to the window. "Girls, we're going to try to cut through that shopping plaza." he said. "Can you give us a little room?"

"Why should we let you into the plaza?" asked Jessie.

"No one said you couldn't follow us." said Ron.

"Give me a second." said Jessie as she put the car into reverse.

Ron returned to the BMW and got in. "They're giving us some room." he said.

"Good." said the Drake. He pushed the accelerator until the BMW almost connected with the Audi. "Doesn't he see what I'm doing?" he asked. He started honking the horn.

Danny leaned to the window. "What's your problem?" he asked.

"Move the wreck!" yelled the Drake.

"Hold your horses! I'm peeing here!" yelled Danny.

Venom hoisted his leg over the center console and hit the accelerator. The Bimmer lurched into motion, smacking into the Audi's rear bumper.

Danny had a combination of rage and disgust on his face. "Gross!" he yelled.

The Scion now had enough room to make the turn into the shopping plaza. After Jessie pulled in, the Drake backed up and followed her.

Danny used one of the towels to wipe off his legs. He then stuffed the towel under himself and put the car into reverse. "I'm going after those guys." he said.

The Audi backed up, then raced into the entrance for the shopping plaza.

The Scion made a quick left when it reached the sidewalk in front of the stores. The BMW and Audi were right behind it.

"Glad we're not in that mess anymore." said Jill as the Drake started to catch up.

Jessie glanced at the mess. "Yeah, right." she said as a woman walked out of a restaurant with her order and walked in front of the car.

"Look out!" yelled Marcie.

Jessie saw her and swerved. Unfortunately, the Drake was trying to pass them and was forced to swerve into the handicapped parking spaces. Luckily, there were two empty spaces across from each other. The Drake cut through them and got back behind the Scion.

The woman stepped back to the sidewalk just before the Audi raced past.

The Scion cut down a row of parking spaces to head for the intersection. The BMW was behind it with the Audi quickly catching up.

"Looks like we have a clear run to the Thruway." said Marcie.

"Oy!" said Jessie.

Jessie drove over the corner of the sidewalk and cut through the intersection onto the street. Thee Drake hit a slight incline and sent his BMW flying. He hit the street with a loud thump. Danny was right behind him in his Audi and pulled off a pass just before reaching the tollbooth.

"This place looks familiar." he said.

----------

Fenderbaum got on the phone again. "Come on, pick up." he muttered. "Finally. Foyt?"

"Fenderbaum, what's happening?" asked Foyt.

"You know that list we e-mailed you?" asked Fenderbaum.

"Yes, we got it and used it." said Foyt proudly. "I've been on the phone constantly for the past hour or two."

"That explains it." said Fenderbaum. "Forget the list! We wrote down the license numbers of the wrong cars. Those are the cars of the Mohonk Mountain House staff."

Foyt was taking the call on the road to the Mountain House. Behind him, two state troopers had pulled over a hotel staffer who was now arguing with them. Foyt turned to them and yelled "Let him go!" Those involved were now really confused.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Fenderbaum.

"We're going to have to go with our original plan." said Foyt. "Where is the finish line?"

"We don't know yet." said Fenderbaum. "The race is organized in stages. Each one has a random checkpoint. For this one, ours is Kent State University in Ohio."

"Good, we'll have the police in Ohio keep an eye out in the area." said Foyt.

"We'll keep you updated." said Fenderbaum. He hung up his phone and said "Foyt says the police in Ohio are going to be focused on looking for speeders."

"How is that going to be different?" asked Blake.

----------

The Coronet passed a tractor-trailer on its way into Port Jervis.

"What are you smiling about?" asked Monkey.

"Just thinking about all those rubes on the Thruway." said Terry. "And they think they've got the quicker route."

Terry maneuvered back into their lane. The truck they passed blew its air horn, making him and Monkey jump.

"What did he do that for?" asked Monkey.

"Mel, do you know why he blew his air horn?" asked Terry.

"Yeah, I just did this." said Mel. He made a fist and made a motion like he was pulling the horn in the truck. "Terry!"

The Coronet passed a state trooper's car at high speed. It quickly turned around and gave chase.

"Faster, Terry!" said Mel. "Get us to the Keystone State pronto!"

"On it." said Terry as he floored the accelerator.

Wintin a minute, the chase headed into Port Jervis. Terry swerved around several cars on his way through town.

"I think we'll be in Pennsylvania within a minute or two." said Mel.

"I hope so." said Monkey. "This guy isn't letting up."

"Is it just me or is this street less than highway quality?" asked Terry.

Mel checked his road atlas. "It isn't." he said. "The highway turned right back there. We're now going down a city street."

"Is the bridge still ahead of us?" asked Monkey.

"No, it's about four blocks that way." said Mel as he pointed to the right.

"Shit." said Terry.

He took the next right. Monkey held on for dear life. Another police car headed their way.

"Looks like some more friends." said Mel.

The police car turned around and joined the first. Terry raced through the street until he reached the highway again.

"Hold on tight." he said.

He executed a sharp left onto the highway. A couple of cars stopped to avoid hitting him.

"There's the bridge." said Monkey.

"Smooth sailing from here." said Mel.

Suddenly, two Pennsylvania State Police Cars appeared on the bridge and blocked the road.

"But Gilligan's the first mate." said Mel.

Terry floored the accelerator as the old Dodge raced towards the bridge.

"Monkey, are we going fast enough to clear that?" asked Mel.

"Don't ask me. I failed physics." said Monkey.

The Coronet raced up the ramp quickly and caught air. It jumped the two police cars' hoods and came down on the steel deck with a clatter. The two New York police cars stopped at the roadblock.

"So long, New York!" said Terry. "Until we meet again."

Next chapter: The return of...HIM.


	5. Chaos

Cannonball Run 2005 

Chapter Five: Chaos

AN:Special thanks go out to Tim, a.k.a. GenerationX7, for some information on his hometown. That comes in near the end.

----------

He was known as Frankie Thunder, a small-time hood out of Scranton. He had been hired by a mysterious person to perform an illegal task completely unrelated to the Cannonball...but not for long. He was briefing his men in a junkyard somewhere in Luzerne County.

"Our benefactor has specified that our target is being transported through the Keystone State on his way to L.A." Frankie explained to his underlings. "Our job, however, is to make sure he doesn't make it there. We are to somehow disable the vehicle and get the prisoner to another location. If we succeed, we will be paid a total of one million dollars."

One underling raised his hand. "Each?" he asked. His cohorts laughed.

Frankie ignored him and contined. "He is in a New York State Trooper's car and in case any of you have forgotten what one of those looks like, take a look at this." Frankie held up a large photograph of a car that looked a lot like the car J.J's team was using in the race. "The lights may be different, so might the numbers. The target's name was not specified. We do have a picture of him, though." Frankie held up a picture of someone who looked a lot like J.J...from a distance. "He is travelling with a woman. We don't have a description for her, I'm afraid."

"What's the split?" asked another underling.

"We'll split the million eight ways since there's six of us." said Frankie. "One-hundred, twenty-five thousand to each of you plus a bonus to whoever finds the guy. Naturally, I get two hundred, fifty thousand."

"When does that transport come through?" asked another.

"Within an hour or so." said Frankie. "Let's go."

Frankie's underlings took off for their vehicles. Two climbed into an '86 Monte Carlo LS, two others got into an '82 Granada, the last one got into an '89 Dodge Dakota. The three vehicles had seen better days and looked right at home in the junkyard. However bad they looked, they still ran well enough to make it out of the junkyard and onto the roads of Pennsylvania.

----------

The Acura cruised through Scranton.

"Man, it took us forever to get through New Paltz." said Jackie.

"Sorry I flipped out." said Brad.

"Sorry I smacked you." said Michael.

Michael tapped a few keys on his computer. Something caught his eye.

"Hold up." he said. "Guys, I think you'd better check this out."

He uploaded the contents of his screen to Brad's monitor. Brad leaned in to read it.

"It's addressed to a Mr. Foyt." said Brad.

"That's the guy who tried to stop the Cannonball two years ago." said Jackie. "Who's it from?"

"MorFend2004 at yahoo-dot-com." said Michael. "That couldn't be who I think it is, could it?"

"I wouldn't put it past him." said Jackie. "Right now, let's give him the benefit of the doubt. What does the message say?"

"It's basicly giving Foyt a list of license plate numbers." said Brad. "I don't recognize them. They aren't in the race."

"So, what is he doing with them?" said Michael.

"How did you get this?" asked Jackie.

"Explaining the whole process would make your head explode." said Michael. "The list must have gotten sent to our computer by mistake."

"There's something strange going on." said Brad.

----------

Mad Dog pulled into a convenience store parking lot. He and Victor climbed out.

"Don't worry. We'll be right back." said Mad Dog. "Want anything?"

"I'm good." said J.J. "Pamela?"

"Me too." said Pamela.

"Okay, we won't keep you waiting." said Mad Dog. He walked with Victor into the store. "So, what are you in the mood for?"

"I've got an odd craving for doughnuts." said Victor.

"So, did you think about what we were talking about last night?" asked J.J.

"What were we talking about last night?" asked Pamela.

"Let me refresh your memory." said J.J.

Just then, the Granada drove by.

"Hey, isn't that a New York State Trooper's car?" asked one criminal.

"Yeah, and if I'm not mistaken, that's the guy." said the other.

As the Granada pulled into the parking lot, J.J. said to Pamela "We've been together for two years now..."

One of the thugs went up to the Crown Victoria and took a coat hanger out of his jacket. "Okay, give me a minute and I'll get this door open."

The other one reached for the door handle to the rear door.

"So, what I'm trying to ask is..." said J.J. "...Pamela, will you..."

The thug opened the unlocked door and confused himself, his partner, and the two in the backseat.

"Do you mind?" asked J.J. "I'm working on something here!"

"Frankie Thunder sends his regards." said the thug. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

"Wait, I don't want to go!" said J.J. as the thug dragged him out of the car.

"Leave him alone!" yelled Pamela as she tried to pull J.J. back in. Unfortunately, she was not heavy enough to prevent being pulled out herself.

"Did Frankie say to bring the girl, too?" asked the thug.

"I don't think he said anything." said his partner. "Let's bring her just in case."

The two thugs dragged J.J. and Pamela back to the Granada and threw them into the backseat.

"Odd." said the guy who grabbed Pamela. "These two don't want to be rescued."

"Must be that Stockholm Syndrome I've heard about." said the other as they got into the car.

A few seconds later, Victor and Mad Dog walked out of the convenience store. They saw the empty backseat and the door hanging open and got scared.

"Oh shit." said Mad Dog. "Where'd they go?"

"I don't know." said Victor. "J.J! Pamela!"

"I hope they didn't step out and get lost." said Mad Dog as he climbed into the backseat to look for clues.

"They didn't." said Victor. "There's no way they they could've gotten out of the backseat."

"How do you know?" asked Mad Dog.

Victor closed the door, trapping Mad Dog in the back. Mad Dog tried to open the door without success.

"Victor!" yelled Mad Dog. "Open the door! I can't get it open!"

"That's because I set the child door locks." said Victor. "I did that so J.J. and Pamela didn't open the doors by accident."

"Hey, that's good thinking." said Mad Dog. "NOW, OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!"

"Excuse me." said a little old lady as she walked up to them. "Are you looking for your prisoners?"

"Yeah, can you help us?" asked Victor as he opened the door and let Mad Dog out.

"That's not going over well with the sarge." said Mad Dog. "So, what did you see, ma'am?"

"There were two guys in an old Granada who got into the car and got your prisoners." said the lady.

"How long ago was this?" asked Mad Dog.

"About a minute." said the lady.

"Did you see which way they went?" asked Victor.

"They went that way." she said as she pointed down the road.

"Thank you, ma'am." said Mad Dog. "The state of New York appreciates your assistance."

"Come on. If we hurry, we can catch them." said Victor.

The two of them climbed into the police car and took off after the Granada, lights flashing.

----------

The Scion and Audi cruised through the area.

"We seem to be making good time." said Jessie.

"I wonder how loverboy's doing?" said Jill. Marcie kicked her seat. "Me-yow!" said Jill.

In the Audi, Danny checked his bottle. "Damn, it's almost full." he said.

"Oh, no problem." said the doctor. He took the bottle, opened the window, and dumped the bottle's contents. Unfortunately, he did this in full view of a Pennsylvania State Trooper.

The cruiser took off after them. "I'm in pursuit of a yellow Scion and a silver Audi proceeding west on Highway 118 at high speed." he reported.

"We've got trouble!" yelled Jill.

"Okay, here's what we do." said Marcie.

"Police car's after us." said the doctor.

"Can't chase both of us." said Danny. "I'll see what the girl in the Scion does and take a different route. If the cop goes after us, I'll try to lose him."

"And if he doesn't follow us?" asked the doctor.

"I'll just let the girls deal with him." said Danny.

Within a minute, the two cars came upon a T-intersection. The Scion went straight, the Audi took the turn, and the cop followed the Scion.

"Well, looks like we got lucky." said Danny.

"Krikey, he's still back there!" yelled Jessie.

"There's a highway interchange coming up." said Marcie. "Do as I say and we'll be fine."

The Scion raced towards the interchange, drove under the overpass, and turned onto the on-ramp. The police officer turned onto the off-ramp leading the same direction and drove up to the highway. He was surprised not to find his quarry.

On the lower road, the Scion backed out of the on-ramp and continued in the direction it was originally going.

"Right bonzer, Marce!" said Jessie.

"So, what do you want in return?" asked Jill.

"Stop razzing me about that Monkey guy." said Marcie.

Jessie and Jill laughed.

"I'm serious!" said Marcie.

"Deal." said Jill reluctantly.

----------

The Granada returned to the junkyard. Frankie watched them pull in.

The two thugs climbed out. "After a few days, the Stockholm police raided the bank, but several of the hostages actually resisted being rescued." said one of them. "They had somehow become sypathetic to their captors over that time. Stockholm Syndrome."

"You got him?" asked Frankie.

"Sure did." said the other one. He opened the car's rear door and said "Here he is."

J.J. climbed out.

"Sir, welcome to my headquarters." said Frankie. "I'm sure you'll be okay here until...wait, you're not the guy we were supposed to rescue."

"Thank you." said J.J. "Now, could you please explain that to THESE GUYS?"

Victor and Mad Dog pulled up outside the junkyard. "Good thing there aren't too many Granadas still on the road." said Victor.

"Yeah, those witnesses knew just what we were talking about." said Mad Dog. "Are we doing this?"

"Hold on, I have to suit up for battle." said Victor as he walked behind a derelict car.

"Suit up?" asked Mad Dog. "What do you mean..."

"DA DA DAAAAAAH!" called Victor. He jumped out from behind the car wearing an orange cape and mask with the word "Chaos" on it.

Mad Dog laughed. "Wondering when you were gonna show up." he said.

"Had to show up." said Captain Chaos. "I understand there are friends in need."

"Yeah." said Mad Dog. "They're in there."

"Have no fear. HIM is here." said Chaos.

The two started towards the junkyard. They made their way inside and sized up the situation.

"Looks like it's just the two of them and their boss." said Mad Dog.

"Almost too easy." said Chaos.

Chaos and Mad Dog snuck over to where J.J. and Pamela were being held hostage. The two thugs were guarding them.

Chaos immediately jumped into action and called "DA DA DAAAAAH!"

"What the..." said one of them.

"Release the hostages." said Chaos.

"I think you'd better listen to him." said J.J. "The last guy to get in his way is still in the hospital."

One of the guards attacked him anyway. Chaos blocked the attack and punched him in the chest. The other guard joined his partner and attacked Chaos. Unfortunately, he followed up an attempt to hit Chaos with his fist by successfully hitting Chaos in the elbow with his face.

"What's going on out here?" asked Frankie as he stepped out of his office, an old delivery van. When he saw Chaos, his eyes got wide and he said "I picked the wrong day to get out of bed."

With the thugs taken out, Chaos turned to Frankie. "Who are you?" he asked.

"They call me Frankie Thunder. And you?"

"I am Captain Chaos!"

"You're going back to the asylum." said Frankie as he stepped into action.

Chaos faced his new opponent while Mad Dog got to J.J. and Pamela. "Hey, you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine." said J.J. "Good thing I wasn't held captive long enough to develop Stockholm Syndrome."

"Good to he...what?" replied Mad Dog.

Frankie jumped into action and went face-to-face with Chaos. First, he went in with a spin kick. Chaos blocked it and returned with a punch. Frankie managed to divert the punch and attempt an over-shoulder throw when he grabbed Chaos' arm. This failed when he forgot to take Chaos' girth into consideration and ended up being sent to the ground.

Chaos got back up and ran to his friends. "Gentlemen, let's be off!" he said.

"Yeah, those guys are just subdued." said Mad Dog.

"How much time did we lose?" asked Pamela.

"Ten minutes." said J.J. as they started for the exit. "It doesn't sound like much, but it could mean a big difference."

Mad Dog said "Let's go before their backup..."

Suddenly, the Monte Carlo and pickup drove into the junkyard. The thugs inside jumped out quickly.

"...gets here." said Mad Dog.

Frankie and his other two thugs got up as well. The Cannonballers realized they were surrounded.

----------

A minute later, J.J's team was seated in the van that served as Frankie's office. Frankie walked in and took a seat of his own. "So, how'd you guys enjoy the Halloween party?" he asked.

The Cannonballers laughed.

"Okay, you want to tell me what the hell you're doing?" asked Frankie.

"Well, it's probably not as bizarre as it looks." said Mad Dog.

Frankie gave him a look.

"Not this time." said Mad Dog.

"And who said you could sit down?" asked Frankie. "Get up!"

The Cannonballers jumped to their feet.

"So, what's going here?" asked Frankie.

"Mr. Thunder..." said J.J.

"You can call me Frankie."

"I can call him Frankie." said J.J. He went to continue.

"Not yet." said Frankie, cutting him off. "You can call me Frankie soon, but not yet. I'll let you know when you can."

"Well, what do I call you until then?" asked J.J.

"Call me 'sir'." said Frankie.

"Sir, we're Cannonballers." said J.J.

"What?" asked Frankie.

"Cannonballers." said J.J.

"Look, I've been lonely as you have from time to time..." said Frankie.

Chaos laughed. "That's a hot one, your majesty!" he said. Mad Dog slapped him in the chest. "Uh, sir. The Cannonball is a race from New York to California. We have lots of fun. But the cops..."

"The cops?" asked Frankie.

"Yeah, we think there's a mole in the race." said Mad Dog. "Just after we released information on three possible locations for the starting line, they allgot busted up by the cops. Also, just before the race, a pair of documentary filmmakers got a tape stolen. It hadfootage of several entrantson it."

"The deuce, you say." said Frankie.

"Needless to say, we're all watching our step a little." said Pamela. "We're also trying to find out who the mole is."

"I see." said Frankie. "Okay, I won't hold you up any longer than I already have. To make it up to you, I'll even try to root out this mole of yours."

J.J. and his teammates cheered.

"One thing." said Frankie. "I was wondering if you could do something else for me. But I wonder: what can you do for me?"

"How does this sound?" asked J.J. as he leaned in and whispered in Frankie's ear.

"Cool." said Frankie, intrigued.

The team left the van a few seconds later.

"We are now fifteen minutes behind." said Pamela.

"Yeah, we're really gonna have to hustle." said J.J.

"What's up?" asked one of his thugs.

"We've got a new mission." said Frankie. "These guys are taking part in a road race and there's a traitor in their midst. We are to find him and take him down."

"And what do we get out of this?" asked another thug.

"If we do this for them, they are going to trick out our cars." said Frankie.

The thugs all got excited and looked at their cars, no doubt imagining what they'd look like afterward.

"I want the Granada in blue!" said one of them.

----------

A couple of hours later, several Cannonball teams made it to their designated checkpoints. At Kent State University in Ohio, a racer pulled up to a man in a white jacket.

"I'm supposed to give this to you." said the driver as he handed the directions to the man.

"Here's your next destination." said the jacketed man as he handed another set of directions to the driver. "Good luck."

The car raced out of the University's parking lot and passed a Dodge Neon. An undercover cop was sitting in it.

"Car number six, not counting your insider, just pulled out." he said. "'88 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z, black."

"Got it." came the response.

----------

The Aston Martin ran the highway just east of Akron. Fenderbaum answered the ringing phone.

"Yes?" he said.

"It's Foyt. We've got some descriptions of cars that were spotted at the checkpoint. We will be trying to apprehend them shortly."

"What are we looking at?" asked Fenderbaum.

"Let's see." said Foyt. "We've got a silver Mercedes E55, a white Saleen Mustang, a blue Z-car, a yellow BMW..."

"That's the car those documentarists were driving." said Fenderbaum.

"...a red BMW..." said Foyt.

"That's the Drake." said Fenderbaum.

"The last car is a black IROC." said Foyt.

"Good." said Fenderbaum. "The next checkpoint is..."

"Save it." said Foyt. "If these checkpoints are random as you say, the race officials might get suspicious if two are compromised and you went to both of them."

"Good point." said Fenderbaum.

"Now, about the finish line." said Foyt.

"We still don't know." said Fenderbaum. "However, you could start checking hotels all over Los Angeles if you have to. The Portofino Inn is rather popular."

"And what if it isn't the Portofino?" asked Foyt. "Do you have any idea how many hotels are in the Los Angeles area?"

"Damn, I used to know." said Fenderbaum.

"Nevermind, we'll start searching anyway." said Foyt.

----------

Sometime later, the Ohio State Police had pulled over five of the cars Foyt had mentioned.

"Wasn't there also supposed to be a Mercedes?" asked one of the officers.

"Must've taken a different route." said another.

The Drake's BMW was the fourth car from the front of the line. The Saleen, 350Z, and yellow M3 were in front of him while the IROC was behind him.

"They pulled us all over?" asked Venom.

"It happens." said the Drake.

"What's going on up there?" asked Ron.

"Let's find out." said the Drake. He took the radio and pushed the button. "This is the Drake calling Z Girl. What's going on? Over."

"The cops are currently looking over the guys in the Saleen." said the 350Z's driver. "Something's up. Over."

"What are you doing?" asked the driver of the yellow M3.

"I'm adjusting the volume on the camera to pick up their conversation." said his passenger as he turned something on his camera.

He then pointed the camera at the Saleen as the cops started to question the team.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" asked one of the cops.

"Sorry, officer." said the Saleen's driver. "I usually keep it right around the speed limit. I don't know how it got away from me."

"Sorry isn't going to cut it." said the officer. "You're coming with us."

"What is this?" asked the Saleen's passenger.

"Come on, make it quick." said the first officer. "We have to take the whole lot of you in."

The officers started to remove the Saleen's occupants from the car. The passenger in the M3 got on the radio.

"Oh shit, they're taking us in! Go! Go! Go!"

The first driver to respond was his own. The yellow M3 tore off the side of the road with a squeal of tires.

"Dammit!" yelled Venom as the Drake followed in his own M3.

The Nissan left at the same time and had to swerve to avoid hitting him. The IROC was last to leave.

The Saleen's driver and passenger were unable to do anything but watch. "Don't let them take you alive!" yelled the driver.

Shortly down the highway, the Drake managed to pass the 350Z. The yellow M3 hurtled down the highway in front of them. The passenger squealed with a mix of panic and delight as he pointed his camera at the pursuing vehicles.

"This is Unit 8. We are in pursuit of vehicles involved in a traffic stop proceeding west on Interstate 76 at a high rate of speed."

The two M3s raced through the interchange with Interstate 77 and headed south. The 350Z and IROC were right behind them. Unfortunately, so were the police.

"Now this is a race!" yelled the passenger in the IROC.

"Yeah, you just try to catch us, piggies!" yelled the passenger in the 350Z.

The Drake started to pass the yellow M3 as they hit the interchange and headed west again. The IROC managed to overtake the 350Z at about the same time.

"Guys, we can't keep this up forever." said the IROC's driver over the radio.

"He's right." said the passenger in the M3, also over the radio. "We have to find some place to hide."

"Fat chance of finding that on the highway." said Venom.

"We're going to have to take the next exit." said Ron.

The Drake got on the radio and said "My passengers are suggesting we take the next exit. We should find a hiding place there."

Shortly afterward, they reached the exit for Barberton. All four cars took it and hit the surface streets. The IROC passed the yellow M3 on the way in.

The four cars took to the streets of Barberton. The 350Z's driver got on the radio and said "This is my hometown. I knowabout a perfect hiding place. It's a warehouse by the railroad tracks."

"I think I can find that." said the IROC's driver as he passed the Drake's M3.

They found the warehouse quickly and pulled inside. The IROC pulled into a spot. The Drake's M3 parked right next to him with the yellow M3 and 350Z slotting in next.

All four drivers shut down their engines and the cars' occupants got out.

Venom and the IROC's passenger went to the door to serve as lookouts. The folks in the 350Z took out bottles of water and started drinking. Ron started talking with the driver of the IROC. The yellow M3's driver lit a cigarette.

The passenger of the M3 started filming the Drake who was pressing his index and middle fingers against his wrist. "You okay?" he asked.

"Check my pulse." laughed the Drake. "Oh, wasn't that just the goddamned craziest thing?"

"Craziest thing ever." said the other M3's passenger.

----------

An hour later, on the other side of Ohio, the Coronet was approaching the Indiana state line. Mel was sleeping in the passenger seat with his cowboy hat over his face.

"What's with this?" asked Monkey.

"He's resting up for his turn at the wheel." said Terry. "Personally, I think he's preparing for fatherhood."

The radar detector let out a chirp. Terry immediately let off the gas.

"I see him." said Monkey.

"Get a good look, 'cause you're not gonna see him again." said Terry. "We are below the speed limit."

Terry passed the police car that set off the radar detector. It quickly gave chase.

"Damn!" yelled Terry as he pulled over. The police car pulled in behind him.

"Uh, Terry, aren't radar detectors illegal in Ohio?" asked Monkey.

Terry started looking around. His eyes fell on Mel.

The police officer got out of his car and walked over to the Coronet's driver's side window. Terry rolled it down quickly.

"Nice afternoon, huh?" said the officer.

"Sir, I know I wasn't speeding." said Terry.

"I know you weren't." said the officer. "Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have noticed your actual infraction."

"What's that?" asked Terry.

"You forgot to fasten your seatbelt." said the officer.

"I what? Oh!" groaned Terry.

"I'm just going to write you up for that." said the officer as he presented the ticket. "Otherwise, you're good."

"Thanks, officer." said Terry as he received the ticket.

"No problem." said the officer. "Look, I'm just going to let you go on your way with the ticket. I'm supposed to be on the lookout for Cannonballers."

"Yes?" asked Terry.

"Yeah, that Cannonball thing? They're doing it again." said the officer. "We're supposed to detain any speeders we apprehend, you know, just in case."

"Thanks, officer." said Terry. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Well, have a good night." said the officer. "Nice car, by the way. I like what you've done with it."

"I can say 'thanks' only so many times." said Terry as the officer walked back to his car.

Terry and Monkey watched the police car drive off.

"Oh man, they've really got it in for us." said Monkey.

"Yeah, we gotta warn the others." said Terry as he restarted the car and fastened his seatbelt.

"Don't forget the radar detector." said Monkey.

"Right." said Terry.

He turned to Mel and removed the cowboy hat from his face. The radar detector was underneath on Mel's face. He was staring at it surprised.

"Sorry, bud." said Terry. "I had to do it."


	6. Through the Night

Cannonball Run 2005 

Chapter Six: Through the Night

AN:Sorry for the long delay. I came down a terrible case of writer's block on this story. I'm talking "Suddenly, everybody was run over by a truck." level writer's block.

----------

At a gas station near the Indiana/Illinois state line, the Scion, Audi, and Acura were getting their fuel tanks filled.

"How on Earth did you get that cop to chase us instead of you?" asked Marcie.

"Hey, look at my car, then look at yours." said Danny. "Mine is stock, yours looks like it came out of a certain Vin Diesel film."

"So? I think having a custom car would be a little less illegal than dumping toxic waste." said Marcie.

"That was cold." said Danny. "Now, speaking of dumping toxic waste." he added just before running off to the bathroom.

"Hey, Brad." said Michael. "I've been watching the police chat rooms and your buddy Drake is in big trouble."

"What did he do?" asked Brad.

"Apparently, he was one of five racers pulled over for speeding in Ohio." said Michael. "He was also one of the four to successfully run for it."

"Oh boy." groaned Brad.

"Yeah and that's not all." said Michael. "Of the thirty drivers that started the race, four have been arrested."

"Well, that's not so bad." said Jackie.

"It might get worse." said Michael. "The police are stepping up their efforts between Akron, where the racers were last seen, and Los Angeles."

"Well, we have one advantage coming up." said Jackie.

"What's that?" asked Brad.

"Night falls in a couple of hours and we've got a black car." said Jackie.

"Okay, but about after the sun comes up?" asked Brad.

"Oh...yeah." said Jackie. "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Are we ready to go?" asked Michael.

"I paid for the gas." said Brad. "We've got our strategy. Let's go."

Jackie climbed back into the driver's seat. "Where's the next checkpoint?" he asked.

"Will Rogers Park in Oklahoma City." said Brad.

"Sooner State, here we come." said Michael.

----------

Sometime later, it was starting to get dark. The Crown Victoria raced toward Missouri.

"How are we doing on making up time?" asked J.J.

"Pretty good." said Mad Dog. "We're only about five minutes behind schedule."

"Thank God." said Pamela.

"Now, let's see about making up that five." said Victor.

It was then that the yellow M3 pulled alongside. "Hey! Hey!" yelled the passenger.

Mad Dog rolled down the window. "Hey, what's up?"

"Have you heard the reports on the radio?" asked the guy. "Cannonballers are dropping left and right! One of the last guys to get picked up was our teammates!"

"Is that the guys in the Jag XKR?" asked Mad Dog. "Man, what's going on here?"

"We've heard about the mole." said the passenger. "We're looking into that."

"We've got someone looking into it too." said Mad Dog.

"Well, see you at the finish line." said the passenger.

The M3 pulled away.

----------

Blake drove into the night.

"I just heard from Foyt." said Fenderbaum. "They just caught three more teams."

"Wow, that's unbelievable." said Blake. "That's seven so far, right?"

"It is." said Fenderbaum. "They're picking up the racers around the checkpoints. The racers tend to fan out elsewhere. However, they're running into trouble finding the finish line. They're spending the night checking every hotel in Los Angeles."

The Monte Carlo driven by one of Frankie's henchmen caught up with the Aston Martin. Frankie was in the passenger seat.

"That's them." he said. "That's who I think is the mole."

"Based on what?" asked the driver.

"Well, look at the evidence." said Frankie. "Mad Dog says they missed the party, many of the racers pulled over used the same checkpoint they did, and they've been acting strangely lately."

"Sounds possible." said the driver. "What do you want me to do?"

"First, try to get their attention." said Frankie.

"Got it." said the driver.

He pushed the accelerator to the floor and bumped the rear of the Aston with the Monte Carlo.

"Very subtle." said Frankie.

"What was that for?" asked Fenderbaum.

"I don't know." said Blake. "This guy's nuts."

"Okay, next one's going to send him to the repair shop." said the driver.

He tried to ram the Aston Martin again, but the engine started to sputter and lose power. The speedometer dropped quickly as the car's engine quit. With his power brakes and steering gone, the driver struggled to bring it to the side of the road.

"Dammit!" yelled Frankie.

"I know." said the driver. "This old engine isn't pulling its weight anymore. We really need that tune-up."

"I don't think we can blame this on the car." said Frankie as he pointed to the fuel gauge. It was on empty.

----------

The Drake drove through Missouri late at night. David Bowie's "Suffragette City" was playing over the radio.

"You know I know all the guitar tabs to this song?" asked Venom.

"I know most of the lyrics." said Ron. "Maybe we can duet sometime."

"Hold it, guys. Here comes the part everyone knows." said the Drake during the bridge.

The three listened with anticipation, then all chanted "Aw, wham! Bam! Thank you, ma'am!"

Another car raced past them.

"Looks like we're not the fastest." laughed Venom.

The Drake looked at the passing car and got mad when he noticed something about it. "Son of a bitch!" he snarled.

"What? What is it?" asked Ron.

"That was a TSX...with Washington plates!" said the Drake. He floored the accelerator to catch up.

"Uh oh, he noticed us." said Michael mockingly. "This guy is pissed."

"Blow him away." said Brad. "Can't let him get one on us."

"See ya." said Jackie.

"You take this shit seriously, huh?" said Venom.

"I'm gonna show him up if it's the last thing I do!" growled the Drake.

"The way you're driving, it will be." said Ron.

Michael said "I think he's getting embarrassed to be outrun by something front-wheel-drive and with two fewer cylinders."

"Yeah! Die, yuppie scum!" yelled Jackie.

"Hey!" yelled Brad.

The two cars roared through the night. A minute later, they approached a highway patrol car parked off to the side. The officer in the driver's seat had a radar gun trained on the road.

"Got a couple of speed demons heading our way." said the driver.

"They never learn, do they?" said the other.

The Drake's radar detector went crazy. "Oh, that does not sound good." said Ron.

"Brad! Radar! Radar!" yelled the Drake.

Brad turned to Jackie and said "You mean we've got all this electronic crap and we don't have a radar detector?"

"No problem." said Michael as he went to his computer.

"I think I'm about to get a reading on the Acura." said the cop.

"Done." said Michael as he finished typing.

The cars passed the police cruiser and the cop took his reading on the Acura. Suddenly, the radar gun went dead along with the rest of the car.

"What happened?" asked the passenger.

"I don't know." said the driver.

Michael laughed. "I told you there was a certain freequency that would kill a radar gun." he said.

"Okay, I guess I owe you twenty bucks." said Jackie as he contiued his attempt to pass the BMW.

----------

The Scion pulled into a gas station as the sun was coming up. The Coronet was already there.

"You'd think a four banger would use less gas than this." said Marcie as she climbed out.

"Well, you have to remember it's been modified." said Jessie.

"Yeah, that fuel rail and new fuel management system will take its toll on your mileage." said Jill.

Nearby, the Coronet had its hood up. Monkey was hanging over it while holding onto a tire rack.

"I think I see the problem." said Monkey. "Looks like your timing chain is off a little."

"Can you fix it with the available equipment?" asked Mel.

"Yeah, no problem." said Terry. "I fix it all the time on my other cars."

"Hey, there's a Krispy Kreme." said Jill. "I wonder if they're open yet."

"Let's find out." said Jessie.

"I'll stay here and fill the tank." said Marcie.

As Jill and Jessie went to the doughnut shop, Monkey climbed down from the tire rack. It was then that he and Marcie made eye contact.

"I think we could use some more oil." said Terry.

"Yeah, and I could use a soda." said Mel.

Mel and Terry walked to the shop while Monkey awkwardly approached Marcie and said "Hi."

"Hi." replied Marcie.

"So, uh, how's the race going for you?" asked Monkey.

"Oh, good, just fine. You?" said Marcie.

"Not bad." said Monkey.

"Yeah." said Marcie. She noticed the Scion's fuel tank was full and stopped pumping.

"So, how does a nice girl like you get into cars?" asked Monkey.

"I open the door and sit down." joked Marcie as she replaced the gas nozzle.

"Seriously." laughed Monkey.

"Okay, I grew up in a neighborhood of L.A. where the coolest kids had the cool cars." said Marcie. "My brother had one, my neighbor had one, even my cousin down the street had one. I think you know what kind I'm talking about." she said as she patted the fender of the Scion.

"Yeah, I saw that movie." said Monkey. "I was pretty shocked when the kid with the Jetta got shot."

"Anyways, I started going to the races with them." said Marcie. "Wasn't long before I had one of my own. '93 Probe, white, base model. Did a bit of work on it over four years. Then, I hooked up with Jill. She came to us from Alabama with that Civic of hers. She must've had everything from the AEM parts catalog under the hood. Didn't even have her ECU set. I helped her out, she helped me out by helping me establish my tuning service. Then in '03, we did the Cannonball."

"Cool." said Monkey. "Yeah, I got into them by working for my dad. He runs a used car lot back in Kentucky. I'm part of the maintenance crew. I'm usually looking at these cars thinking about what a decent customizer can do with them. I've got loads of sketches if you want to see them."

"Yeah, I can see your handiwork on that Coronet." said Marcie.

"I can't believe they weren't open yet." said Jill as she and Jessie walked back to the gas station.

Monkey quickly walked back to the Dodge.

"I don't really understand the appeal of a doughnut shop." said Jessie.

"Once, I went to a Krispy Kreme for a snack." said Jill. "I ordered a variety that was on the conveyor belt at the time. The clerk asked me if I wanted it fresh, so I said 'yes'. Best doughnut I ever had."

"Bonzer loco you are." laughed Jessie.

"Hey, is the tank full?" asked Jill.

"Topped off and paid for." said Marcie as she took her credit card out of the reader. "Ready to go?"

"You bet." said Jill.

The girls jumped into the Scion and took off. Mel and Terry came out to the car.

"I can see you're making a little progress." said Terry.

"For me, that was second base." said Monkey.

"Let's hit you a homer." said Mel as they climbed in. "On to the finish line."

----------

The sun was higher up when the BMW and Acura reached Oklahoma City. As they started to pull into Will Rogers Park, they encountered a traffic jam.

"What the hell is this?" asked Venom.

"Whoever heard of a traffic jam in Oklahoma?" asked the Drake.

"Anyway through this?" asked Jackie.

"No way, man." said Michael as he checked his monitor. "Everything's jammed up."

Ron looked at the traffic jam and said "Too thick. Looks like we're gonna have to get out and walk."

"I'll be right back." said the Drake. He jumped out of the car and ran.

"Where's he going?" asked Brad.

"I think he's going for the checkpoint." said Jackie.

"The hell he is." said Brad as he jumped out and followed him.

"Hey, let's go see what's causing the traffic jam." said Michael as he shut down his computer. He and Jackie got out and ran over to investigate.

"Wonder where they're off to." said Ron.

"One way to find out." said Venom. They climbed out and followed.

Just down the road, an old Granada had broken down. "Did you call AAA?" asked the passenger.

"They're supposed to be on the way." said the driver.

"Hey, what's going on?" asked Venom.

"It just broke down." said the driver.

Michael looked at the back of the Granada. "With Pennsylvania plates, you broke down in Oklahoma?"

"The license plate isn't connected to the engine." said the Granada's passenger.

"I think he means that it's a little suspicious." said Ron.

"I think it's a little suspicious that you're casting suspicions so close to a Cannonball checkpoint." said the driver of a pickup.

"What do you know about the Cannonball?" asked Jackie.

"What do you know about the Cannonball?" asked the pickup's passenger.

"What is this? Echo Day?" asked Venom.

"I think you're up to something." said the Granada driver.

"Back atcha." said Michael.

"Back off!" said the Granada's passenger as he shoved Ron.

"Doesn't take a genius to see where this is going." said Ron. He then turned and hit the guy.

The other six men sprung into action. Meanwhile, the Drake reached the checkpoint and handed over his pass. After receiving his new pass, he noticed Brad running towards him.

Brad tried to dodge the Drake, but was blocked three times. He then took a look at the Drake's suit. "Do you mind a personal remark?" he asked.

"No, of course not." said the Drake.

"That is a very nice suit." said Brad.

The Granada's driver held Michael from behind while his passenger punched the man in the stomach.

"Okay, that's enough." said Ron. He clenched his fists together and clubbed the passenger in the back.

Michael slipped out of the driver's hold and punched him out. He then turned to Ron and said "Thanks, man."

"No problem, blood." said Ron. He then ran off to the next opponent. Michael started to do the same, then looked at Ron strangely.

"Oh, don't do that." said Brad as he and the Drake compared their stuff.

"Sorry." said the Drake. "Maybe this should make it alright." he said as he showed Brad his watch.

"Is that a Rolex?" asked Brad.

"But of course." said the Drake.

"That is absolutely marvelous." said Brad.

Venom shoved the pickup's driver against the back of the Granada and punched him twice. He glanced at the car's rear window and noticed the pickup's passenger rushing him from behind. He grabbed the guy and threw him over the roof. The guy tumbled down the windshield and came to rest on the hood.

"And about that wager." said the Brad. "Maybe we can have some drinks and take care of it."

"Sounds good." said the Drake. "Oh, Ron." He turned and saw the fight taking place. "They seem to be busy." he said.

The Granada's driver and passenger tried to double team Jackie, only to be fought back.

After the two had been knocked away, Ron walked up and said "Hey, Jackie."

Jackie turned and almost hit him, but Ron leaned back just in time.

"Whoa, Jackie." said Ron.

"Sorry, Ronnie." said Jackie.

The passenger got back up and approached the two. Ron hit him, but barely fazed him. "Uh oh." said Ron.

Jackie jumped and kicked him, knocking him silly. Ron then did the same and knocked him flat.

Finally, the four were left on the ground. The driver of the pickup was the only one who had enough conciousness to talk.

"Looks like you'll think twice about messing with the Cannonballers." said Venom.

"Wait, you're Cannonballers?" asked the driver. "We were hired to protect you. We thought you were trying to take them out."

"What? Oh, sorry." said Venom nervously.

The Cannonballers returned to their cars while a pair of passersby pushed the lifeless Granada out of the way. Someone else got into the pickup and drove it into a parking space. Soon after, traffic began to flow again.

"Hey, Brad!" yelled Michael. "The road is open!"

"Oh, we're back to racing. Let's go." said Brad.

He and the Drake ran to their cars. Before they left the park...

"Hey, Brad. Did you get your instructions?" asked the Drake.

Brad stopped and turned around. As he was getting his instructions, the Drake, Venom, and Ron climbed into the BMW and drove off. Jackie and Michael got back into the Acura and looked at Brad.

"Hurry up, dummy! We're losing the race!" yelled Jackie.

Brad jumped into the Acura, but the Drake was already a mile ahead of them.

The Drake handed the instructions to Ron and said "Read this. I'm driving."

Ron opened the instructions and read. "Brigham Young University? Is one of the race officials a Mormon?"

----------

Hours later at BYU, Mad Dog was on his cell phone. "Whoa, sorry about that, Frankie. I didn't get a chance to tell them."

J.J. and Pamela sat on the hood of the Crown Vic.

"Pamela, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about." said J.J. He dug into his pocket and continued. "We've been going together for two years now. I..." He suddenly looked surprised and used both hands to check his pocket. "Excuse me." he said.

He walked over to Mad Dog and said "Mad Dog, do you have a minute?"

"Hold on." said Mad Dog. He lowered the phone and said "What's up?"

"Have you seen a little jewelry box?" asked J.J. "It was in my pocket, now I can't find it."

"A jewelry box?" asked Mad Dog. "What was in it?"

"A diamond ring." said J.J.

"Okay, talk." said Mad Dog. "What's going on?"

"It's an engagement ring." said J.J. "I've been trying to propose to Pamela for the past two days. I've been looking for the right moment and I keep getting interupted."

"Really?" asked Mad Dog. "I'll help you look for it. Oh, this is big."

"I know." said J.J.

Victor came running back to the car. "I got it, guys. Let's go." he said.

J.J. and Mad Dog took a quick look around the ground and climbed back into the car. Victor and Pamela followed.

Victor drove out of BYU and made his way to the highway. Pamela opened the instructions while Mad Dog and J.J. looked around the floor.

"I don't see it just yet." said Mad Dog.

"I haven't been in the front seat since I last saw it." said J.J. "Keep looking, though. It might have fallen under the seat."

"Well, this is interesting." said Pamela.

----------

In Los Angeles, Mr. Foyt parked on Sunset Boulevard. "I can't believe we had the LAPD question every hotel in the area and not one of them is hosting the finish line for the Cannonball!" he said.

"Maybe the finish line is at another L.A. hot spot, like a major landmark." said his partner.

"We'll have to wait for our insider to give us the information." said Foyt.

His phone rang a second later. He checked the caller ID. "Speak of the devil." he said as he answered. "Yes?"

"Foyt, this is Fenderbaum. We just got our instructions for the finish line."

"Okay, where is it?" asked Foyt. "Uh huh, what? Those crafty sons of...I'll see you there!"

Foyt hung up his phone.

"Where's the finish line?" asked his partner.

"San Francisco." said Foyt.


	7. Showdown in Cisco

Cannonball Run 2005 

Chapter Seven: Showdown In Cisco

AN:Well, the finish line is in sight. Some loose ends will be tied up and a winner will be chosen.  
Sorry if it appears that I rushed through these last couple of chapters, but I mentioned my bout with writer's block last chapter. I can also say we're heading for a rather controversial ending.  
Well, here we go.

Hours after leaving the final checkpoint at Brigham Young University, the Crown Victoria made its way through Oakland.

"Almost there." said Victor. "We're almost there."

"Just across the bay and we're done." said Pamela.

"Hey, J.J, you alright?" asked Mad Dog.

"Yeah, I'm fine." said J.J. He looked around and whispered "Where the hell is it?"

Victor pulled into the toll booth for the Bay Bridge. He paid the toll and pulled out. He caught a glimpse of silver to his left. He looked over and saw Danny's Audi.

"Hey, J.J!" yelled the doctor.

"You really messed me up there." said Danny. "My cousin had to fly up here for the transplant."

"Sorry about that." said Mad Dog.

"I'm gonna make you pay me back by kicking your ass." said Danny.

He started to pull away from the Crown Vic.

"Victor, are you gonna take that from him?" asked J.J.

"I have to, but...he won't." said Victor.

"Who?" asked J.J.

"HIM." said Victor.

The Scion started to come up behind him.

"There's J.J. and Danny." said Marcie. "There's J.J. and Danny."

"There's our next pass." said Jessie as she went to the next gear.

J.J. looked out the rear window. "Here come Jill and Marcie." he said.

"DA! DA! DAAAAAHHH!" called Victor.

The Crown Victoria took off like a shot and J.J. looked forward. Victor had changed into Captain Chaos.

The Audi and Scion raced after them. The three cars took the next exit and hit the surface streets. They were joined by the Aston Martin and BMW among others.

"That's J.J!" yelled Fenderbaum.

"He got through?" asked Blake.

"More Cannonballers." said Ron.

"At least Brad's not here." said the Drake.

A few more cars, including the Acura, raced out of a side street.

"Dammit!" yelled the Drake.

"Ooh, the Drake looks pissed." said Brad.

"He'll be even more if we can pull this off." said Jackie.

The cars approached a gas station. The Coronet was there gassing up.

"Here comes everybody." said Mel as he scrambled into the backseat.

"Are we paid for?" asked Terry as he jumped behind the wheel and started it.

"Yeah, definitely." said Monkey as he slid into the passenger seat.

The Coronet tore out a second later. The cars raced down the street towards the finish line.

The cars took a hard left next. That's when Jackie made his move. He swerved and cut off the Drake. The Drake swerved to avoid him and spun out.

"Dammit, Jackie!" yelled Ron.

"Have you guys ever killed anyone before?" asked the Drake.

The cars raced towards the finish line at Mark Hopkins Inter-Continental Hotel. The Crown Victoria, Aston Martin, and Coronet were in the lead.

"Down to the wire!" said Mad Dog.

"No stopping now!" said J.J.

"What are you doing?" asked Fenderbaum.

"Making it look convincing." said Blake.

"Go, man!" said Mel. "We can't lose to this guy!"

"Blake, of course not." said Terry. "J.J, I'm okay with."

Batman stood in the crowd at the finish. "Alright." he said.

Just then, they all heard a bell clang. Batman looked and saw a cable car entering the intersection. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." he said.

"Cable Car!" yelled Pamela when she saw thecable carwas about to cross into their path.

Chaos hit the brakes and swerved off to the side, ending up behind the cable car.

"That was close." said J.J.

"Yeah, but it also cost us the race." said Mad Dog.

"We lose this one." said Chaos. "But perhaps citizen Fletcher will pull this off."

Unfortunately, Terry was not pulling it off.

"Blake, I think you're being a little too convincing." said Fenderbaum.

"Come on, faster!" said Monkey.

"I'm going as fast as I can." said Terry.

The Aston Martin crossed the finish line with the Coronet right behind it. The cars' brakes came on and they stopped.

Blake froze behind the wheel. "Did we just win?" he asked.

"Shit!" yelled Terry. "Of all the guys to lose to, why him?"

"Dammit!" yelled J.J.

Mad Dog's cell phone rang. He answered it. "Yo."

It was Batman. "Blake just won. What do I do?"

"Check the departure times." said Mad Dog. "Maybe Terry got here faster."

"He didn't. I already checked." said Batman. "Blake was one of the last drivers to leave. Most of who was behind him got arrested."

Mad Dog sighed. "Treat him like a normal winner." he said. "We have no choice."

Blake and Fenderbaum climbed out of the Aston Martin. They both looked somewhat guilty and surprised. Batman ran over to greet them. Several other Cannonballers pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and many got out of their cars.

"Well, congratulations on your absolutely stunning victory." said Batman half-heartedly. "To tell you the truth, you two were the last guys we wanted to see in the winners' circle due to the business with the Drake last year. However, one racer is just as good as another in this race. You managed to reach the finish line faster than anyone else. And that's just the guys who made it. Lots of your competitors are currently behind bars right now. But you, you've made it. You made it before anyone else. Do you have any words?"

Blake looked out at the other Cannonballers and said "Everybody remove any evidence of your affiliation with this race NOW. The police are on their way and they are on the warpath."

"How do you know this?" asked Batman.

"The mole, it's us." said Blake. "Hurry!"

The Cannonballers started to murmur amongst themselves.

"Okay, guys." said Batman. "Get your cars into parking spaces immediately. We'll take down the banners and hide the time clock. If we're lucky, we can get safe before the cops get here. Go!"

The Cannonballers ran to their cars and started to move them into parking spaces.

Mad Dog backed the Crown Victoria into a parking space.

"I totally saw this coming." said J.J. "Who saw this coming?" he asked as he raised his hand.

The Drake's BMW pulled into the parking lot. "This is not good." said the Drake as he saw the chaos.

Several officials took down the banners. Another took the time clock and threw it into the trunk of a nearby car.

After the documentarists parked their BMW, the cameraman filmed the activity.

"Better hide that before the cops get here." said the driver. "They'll analize that for evidence."

"Good idea. Pop the trunk." said the cameraman.

Sirens were heard, but the parking lot only looked like it was full of cars.

"Make yourselves scarce, guys." said Batman. Many of the Cannonballers, including J.J's team, went to hide somewhere. Batman, Blake, and Fenderbaum were among those who remained.

A few police cars pulled into the parking lot. Foyt and several police officers climbed out.

"Hey, it's Mr, uh..." said Batman.

"Foyt!" said Blake and Fenderbaum.

"Yeah, that guy." said Batman.

"Well, Mr. Blake." said Foyt. "Can you get all the Cannonballers out here to face the music?"

"What Cannonballers?" asked Fenderbaum. "When they saw their competitors falling left and right, the remaining racers all abandoned the race."

"Whoa, there was another Cannonball?" asked Batman. "Whoa, that's wild!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Foyt. "The Cannonballers are part of the lunatic fringe. They wouldn't give up so easily."

"I heard it with my own ears." said Fenderbaum. "All across the radio racers were calling in and dropping out. We would've told you, but we wanted to see if we could catch a few at the finish. However, those who made it quickly took off again. I guess they didn't want to get caught."

"What about all these people?" asked Foyt.

"I don't know, I guess they're guests at the hotel." said Fenderbaum. "They were here when we arrived. Isn't that right, Blake?"

"Huh?" asked Blake. "Oh, yes. Yes, it is."

"You're not serious." said Foyt. "We are going to take all these people in as Cannonballers."

"How do you know they're Cannonballers?" asked Blake.

"Well, I, uh." stammered Foyt. He had realized Blake was right and he had no proof, then he thought of something. "Well, we can prove you were in the race and your amnesty still stands. And the others, I suppose the only one we can prove is a Cannonballer is the winner since the officials would log that. So, who won?"

Everybody looked to Blake and Fenderbaum who just smiled at the irony.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" said Foyt. "You two morons won the race?"

"Yeah, funny, huh?" asked Blake.

"You mean to tell me we just launched a major sting into the Cannonball and the majority of the racers got away with it?" asked Foyt.

"Looks like it." said Fenderbaum.

Foyt let out a loud, long groan which quickly turned into a scream. He and the police got back into their cars and drove off.

After Foyt and the police left, the Cannonballers came out of hiding and Blake let out a huge sigh of relief. Just then, Frankie and his group arrived. The engines of the Dakota and Monte Carlo shut down while the Granada stalled again. The group then exited their vehicles.

"Okay, Mad Dog." said Frankie. "You remember our deal."

"That I do." said Mad Dog. "You can bring your cars to either my or J.J's garages whenever you're ready. I'll even spring for the air fare."

"Can you also spring for a tow truck?" asked one guy. "The engine in the Granada is hanging by a thread."

"That's well and good, but there's our other deal." said Frankie. "In addition to working on our cars, you are also to pay me the sum of no more than ten percent of the prize money."

Most of the Cannonballers laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Frankie.

"There's no prize money." laughed Mad Dog.

"There isn't?" asked Frankie.

"There isn't?" asked Blake.

"What about the prize last year?" asked Frankie.

"Oh, that." said the Drake. "I threw that in thinking no one would race again without some incentive. Boy, was I wrong."

"But if there's no money in this," said Frankie "why are all of you here?"

"Adventure!" said Jessie.

"Showing off technology." said Michael.

"Showing off skills." said the Drake.

"Stress relief." said Danny.

"Yeah, we've got all of these guys from different walks of life." said Terry. "Street racers, tech geeks, international playboys, a couple of rednecks from Kentucky. But here, all those differences fade away."

Someone yelled "Yeah!" and there was a loud cheer from the crowd.

"Well, someone's gotta give me something." said Frankie as he reached into his pocket. "Maybe someone can give me something in exchange for this ring?"

"Wait, that's my ring!" said J.J. Pamela looked at him in shock.

"Yeah, it's nice." said Frankie. "What were you going to do with it?"

"It's an engagement ring." said J.J.

Pamela's shock intensified. "What?" she gasped.

"Pamela, for the last two days, I've been trying to propose to you." said J.J. "Every time I try, I get distracted. I just want to take the opportunity to propose and I can't do that without the ring."

"Yeah, pay me and you get it back." said Frankie.

"A challenge." said J.J. "A race. I'll challenge you to a drag race right here, right now. I'm driving the Crown Vic."

"Why the Crown Vic?" asked Frankie.

"Because I worked on it with Victor and Mad Dog." said J.J. "I have absolute faith in their skills as well as mine and I know it can move."

Frankie pondered his offer. "Okay, I'm game." he said. "But I need a new car since none of mine are really in good condition."

"Take one from one of the Cannonballers." said J.J. "Take anyone you like. I love you."

"Okay." said Frankie. "I think I'll take the winner here, the Aston Martin."

"Sounds fair." said Fenderbaum.

"Okay, let's go." said Victor.

Just then, Danny's pager went off.

"Hey, I know a great strip for the race just a few blocks over." said Jill.

"Hey, if it's alright with you, can you fill me in later?" asked Danny. "I have to go get my life saved."

"By all means. Go." said J.J. as he climbed into the Crown Victoria's driver's seat.

The cars started up and drove to the street for the drag race. On the way, Danny's Audi turned off and headed for the hospital.

The Crown Vic and Aston Martin pulled up to an intersection. The other Cannonballers blocked it off and the one the cars were facing. Jill stepped between the two cars and checked to make sure they were even with each other.

"Alright, this is how we do it in L.A." said Jill. "When I drop my arms, the cars race for the next intersection. First one there wins. It's simple as that."

"Hold it, hold it." said Monkey. "I think there's something caught under here." He kneeled in front of the Aston Martin and reached under the front bumper. He pulled out a leaf. "Never mind, it's just a leaf." he said.

At the other intersection, the Acura and both M3's were set up. The driver of the yellow M3 kneeled next to the crosswalk with a still camera while his passenger stood next to him with a video camera.

"So, Drake." said Brad. "I think I've picked out a business I'd like to acquire from you."

"You know something, save it." said the Drake. "How does this sound? Double or nothing. If J.J. wins, the deal is null and void. But if Frankie wins, you get two of my businesses."

"Really?" asked Brad.

"Really." said the Drake.

"How can I say no to that?" asked Brad.

J.J. and Frankie revved their engines hard as Jill looked down the street. She looked back at them and raised her arms. She looked at J.J, then at Frankie. She held her arms up for another second, then dropped them.

The two cars tore out of the intersection and raced down the street. Racers cheered them on.

"Hey, guys. Question." said Monkey.

"Go ahead." said Terry.

"Alright." said Monkey. "If someone, say me, were to remove the radiator plug, say this one," He held up a radiator plug. "from an Aston Martin, say that one, how long would it take the engine to overheat?"

Mel and Terry looked at each other knowing what was about to happen.

The cars charged down the street. The Aston Martin took a slight lead about halfway down the block. Suddenly, the temperature light came on as the engine started to overheat.

"Should that car be losing speed like that?" asked Jackie.

Frankie noticed the Aston Martin was starting to overheat. "Come on!" he yelled. "Come on!"

The Aston's engine started to fail even more. The Crown Vic started to catch up with, then pass the Aston Martin.

"Come on! Come on!" said J.J.

The Crown Vic then pulled ahead of the Aston Martin and crossed the finish line half a car length ahead.

The driver of the yellow M3 took a picture as the cars passed. "Holy shit, J.J. won!" said his passenger.

The crowd at the finish cheered...except for Brad. The Drake patted him on the back and said "Well, there's a lesson for you. Never bet against J.J. McClure."

Terry watched the finish on the LCD screen of his cell phone. "He did it!" he yelled. A cheer erupted from the crowd at the start.

"Yeah! Yeah!" cheered Monkey.

He jumped around and came face-to-face with Marcie.

"Oh, uh, it's you." he said. "I, uh..."

"Did I hear you correctly?" asked Marcie. "You sabotaged the Aston?"

"Um, yeah." said Monkey.

"Why did you do that?" asked Marcie.

"Well, I saw how into her he was and I realized I had to do something for them." said Monkey.

She hugged him.

"Wow." said Monkey. "If I knew this is what it would take, I would've sabotaged the Aston at the start."

"Hey, maybe someone will do that for you two someday." said Mel.

"Knock it off, Mel." said Marcie.

At the finish, Frankie was looking at the front of the Aston which was trailing smoke.

"Whoa, that Ford owned that Aston!" said Venom.

"Well, Ford does own Aston." said Ron.

"Deal's a deal, Thunder." said J.J. "Where is it?"

"Here it is." said Frankie. "I gave you my word. Hold on a second, I have to do something first." He took the ring out of his pocket and stroked it while hissing "My precious."

The crowd laughed.

Frankie tossed the ring to J.J. and said "Here you go. Treat it well. Oh, and give her a kiss for me."

J.J. took the ring and walked over to Jackie who was holding up his cell phone and using the camera to broadcast the finish to the people at the start. "Hey, Jackie." said J.J. "Are you still connected?"

"Yeah, you want to talk to Pamela?" asked Jackie.

"You bet." said J.J.

"Hey, Terry, the winner wants to talk to his lady." said Jackie.

He handed the phone to J.J. J.J. said "Honey, I'm coming home. Oh, and can you give the phone to Judas? I've got some bad news about his car."

----------

Danny raced into the hospital parking lot. He quickly found a parking space and slid his Audi into it. He jumped out and ran for the entrance with the doctor right behind him.

Danny ran into the entrance and went to the reception desk. "Excuse me, I'm supposed to be here for a kidney transplant." he said.

"Just a second." said the desk nurse.

"Danny?" said someone. "Is that you?"

"Phil!" yelled Danny as he turned around. "How's my favorite cousin doing?"

"I'll ask him when I see him." joked Phil.

"Mr. Mitchell, they want you in surgery." said the nurse.

"Okay, let's go do this." said Danny.

The nurse led the two of them to the operating room.

"Look, Phil, I can't thank you enough." said Danny. "You're literally saving my life here."

"No problem. That's what family is for." said Phil. "Are you alright? You don't look so good."

"I've just been up for about thirty-six hours." said Danny. "I was taking part in a road race across the country."

"Guess you're not going to be needing anesthetic." said Phil.

"On the other hand, I haven't had much time to eat." said Danny. "So, I guess I followed their instructions correctly."

"Okay, you comedians, let's go." said the nurse.

----------

Hours later, the post-race party was in full swing.

"So, did I do good?" asked Monkey.

"Well, you only destroyed the engine in a two-hundred grand Aston Martin." said Marcie.

They sat at a table with Mel, Jill, and Jessie.

"You two getting together?" asked Jill.

"We sure are." said Marcie.

"'Bout bloody time." said Jessie.

"Yeah, I was thinking of moving out to L.A." said Monkey. "That way, I can be with my lady love and my next love."

"What's that? Working on cars?" asked Mel.

"You bet." said Monkey. "And you?"

"I got a kid on the way." said Mel. "This is it for me. If Terry wants to run next year, he's going to have to find someone else."

Terry walked over.

"Hey, Terry. What's up?" asked Jill.

"Uh, Monkey." said Terry. "When we finished the race, I called your dad. I told him all you helped with and, uh, he's here."

"That was fast." said Monkey as he got up and went with him.

"Not really." said Terry as he led Monkey outside. "He called me just before the race and I told him to meet us in Los Angeles. He just drove up from there."

"The drive would do him some good." said Mel as he followed.

Monkey's father was waiting outside. "Dad, what are you doing here?" asked Monkey.

"Terry said I'd find you here." said his dad. "It's nice to see you survived the journey. Listen, in the past month, I've thought about things. I realized that I never really treated you much like a son these last few years. I always lash out at you for anything and sometimes, it's just not justified. I tried to think about why I do that and I had a thought. I'm mad. I'm mad that you're still working for me instead of trying to make it on your own. I'm mad that you're most likely going to be stuck doing the same thing long after I'm gone. But mostly, I'm mad at myself for not letting you spread your wings. Monkey, if you want to step away and leave, I won't stand in your way."

"Dad, I found someone." said Monkey. "She's a really nice girl and she loves cars like I do. You should see what she can do under the hood."

"Marcie, right?" asked his father. "Terry told me about her."

"She does what I'd like to do." said Monkey. "I want her not only to be my girlfriend, but my teacher as well."

"If this is how you tender your resignation, so be it." said his father. "Go on, live your life. You deserve a chance."

Monkey took a second to process the information. "Thank you, dad." he said.

His father smiled and said "Oh, by the way, I thought I'd give you something to start your new life with. It's over in the parking lot."

"Really? Thanks again." said Monkey. He walked over to the parking lot with Mel and Terry behind him.

Monkey walked into the parking lot, stopped, and looked slightly disappointed. He saw what his father's gift was: the Gremlin. Mel and Terry doubled over in laughter.

"No harm, no foul. I love it." laughed Venom.

"Our little dance continues, Drake." said Brad.

"Until next year, Bradley." said the Drake.

"Cheers." said Jackie as he took a sip of his Mr. Pibb's.

"You're not drinking alcohol?" asked Ron.

"No, I decided not to." said Jackie. "After what I was told about what I did last year, I thought it was a bad idea."

"Thank God!" yelled Brad.

Mad Dog went up to the mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, lend me your ears." he said. "I'd like to congratulate you all for completing the most outrageous journey of your life."

The Cannonballers cheered.

"I just want to point out that you really should be proud of yourselves this time around since the police were more diligent, more organized, more stringent. These were high stakes and you rose to the challenge. You surpassed the challenge. You succeeded where others failed. But we're not going to praise you to disrespect those who didn't make it. We're going to honor those guys and hopefully see them next year. Of the thirty or so teams to start the race, seventeen made it to the finish. We don't know where that Fiat 500 is."

The Cannonballers laughed.

"Of those teams that made it, one is not here right now." said Mad Dog. "That is the team of Danny Mitchell and Dr. Nicholas Van Helsing, who are now down at the hospital where Mitchell just received a kidney transplant and is reportedly recovering nicely."

The Cannonballers cheered again.

"And now, J.J. and Pamela and the moment you've been waiting for." said Mad Dog. (AN:And that goes for all of you reading this as well.)

J.J. walked to the center of the stage and looked Pamela right in the eyes. "Pamela, we've been going together for...ah, screw it. Pamela, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" squealed Pamela. She quickly jumped on him and they kissed. The crowd cheered and burst into applause.

Blake turned to Mad Dog and asked "All's well that ends well, right?"

Mad Dog turned to him and said "Get bent, traitor."

THE END


End file.
